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Splitting : Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder - Bill Eddy


Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder

By: Bill Eddy, Randi Kreger

Paperback | 1 July 2021 | Edition Number 2

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This highly anticipated second edition of Splitting is fully revised and updated, and includes new chapters on abuse, alienation, and false allegations; as well as information about the four types of domestic violence, protective orders, and child custody disputes. Are you divorcing someone who's making the process as difficult as possible? Are they sending you nasty emails, falsifying the truth, putting your children in the middle, abusing you, or abusing the system? Are they "persuasive blamers," manipulating and fooling court personnel to get them on their side? If so, you need this book. For more than ten years, Splitting has served as the ultimate guide for people divorcing a high conflict person, one who often has borderline or narcissistic (or even antisocial) personality disorder. Among other things, it has saved readers thousands of dollars, helped them keep custody of their children, and effectively guided them through a difficult legal and emotional process. Written by a family law attorney and therapist, and the author of Stop Walking on Eggshells, Splitting is an essential legal and psychological guide for anyone divorcing a persuasive blamer: someone who suffers from borderline personality disorder (BPD), narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), and/or antisocial personality disorder (ASPD). This second edition includes new information about antisocial personalities; expanded information about domestic violence, child abuse, alienation, and false allegations; how to approach protective orders and deal with child custody disputes; and a new chapter on how to successfully present your case to decision makers. Turn to this guide to help you: *Predict what your spouse may do or say in court *Take control of your case with assertiveness and strategic thinking *Choose a lawyer who understands your case *Learn how e-mails and social networking can be used against you If you need help navigating a high-conflict divorce from a manipulative spouse, this book includes all of the critical information you need to work through the process of divorce in an emotionally balanced, productive way.

Industry Reviews
"Splitting provides concise, clear, and invaluable advice for strategically navigating a divorce from someone who has narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) or borderline personality disorder (BPD). Following the suggestions laid out in this book will greatly increase the readers' odds of having a successful marital dissolution under these difficult circumstances."
--Susan Pease Gadoua, LCSW, founder and executive director of the Transition Institute of Marin, and author of Contemplating Divorce and Stronger Day by Day--Susan Pease Gadoua, LCSW
"Splitting is a practical, concise guide as to what to expect when dealing with a high-conflict person in a divorce context. The authors do not sugarcoat the behaviors that will occur during a divorce involving a high-conflict person. Their charts and management suggestions are direct and easy to process. This volume is useful for anyone engaged in handling family law matters."
--Retired Judge Christine Goldsmith, San Diego Superior Court, family law mediator--Retired Judge Christine Goldsmith
"Eddy and Kreger's Splitting is the book that those embroiled in difficult family court proceedings will call 'a life saver, ' and the book that 'made me realize I'm not alone.' Every family court participant will benefit from their expertise in understanding, managing, preparing, and ultimately succeeding in family court despite an opposing party's scorched-earth tactics."
--Annette T. Burns, past president of the Association of Family and Conciliation Courts; fellow of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers; attorney and family law certified specialist; and coauthor of BIFF for Coparent Communication--Annette T. Burns
"Filled with concrete and actionable tips from the Quick Start Guide in the beginning to the Resources and References at the end--and on every page between--Bill Eddy and Randi Kreger's Splitting is quite simply THE absolute MUST resource for those going through a high-conflict divorce and the professionals who support them. I will be keeping a copy on my desk going forward!"
--Susan Guthrie, leading divorce attorney and mediator, cofounder of the Mosten Guthrie Academy, and host of The Divorce & Beyond Podcast--Susan Guthrie
"For anyone targeted by a 'persuasive blamer, ' this is a must-read. You will learn strategies for responding to blamers' predictable and often effective court tactics. Recognizing the importance of safety planning where there is risk of domestic violence, the authors make a compelling case for mediation given how the adversarial family court system can escalate aggression. Every family lawyer should include a copy of this book with their initial consult!"
--Hilary A. Linton, JD, LLM, award-winning family lawyer, mediator, and arbitrator in Toronto, ON, Canada; who trains professionals how to assess and manage domestic violence--Hilary A. Linton, JD, LLM
"Parents who find themselves embroiled in high-conflict and court involvement with a co-parent who has a personality disorder face overwhelming challenges to resolve custody disputes and manage their ongoing co-parenting relationship. Bill and Randi not only help readers understand what drives the behaviors of borderline, narcissistic, and antisocial parents, but provide comprehensive and specific advice to help the healthier parent navigate the family court experience and alternatives to formal legal processes when dealing with these individuals. Their comprehensive, step-by-step advice when confronted with a 'persuasive blamer' is a lifeline to parents and professionals alike."
--Matthew J. Sullivan, immediate past president of the Association of Family and Conciliation Courts--Matthew J. Sullivan
"This book includes important considerations when planning for physical and emotional safety in court proceedings, particularly when a relationship has been violent and/or abusive. So often, when a person leaves a relationship where their partner has been abusive, the court system becomes the next tool to continue harassment, intimidation, and psychological abuse. My hope is that anyone in our community who feels that there is no way to safely navigate this intimidating process will find this book to be a resourceful and helpful guide."
--Anna Harper-Guerrero, LMSW, executive vice president and chief strategy officer at the Emerge Center Against Domestic Abuse in Tucson, AZ--Anna Harper-Guerrero, LMSW
"Two noted authorities offer eminently practical advice that has stood the test of time. Whether in the process of breaking up, or managing the troubling aftermath of a split, this comprehensive guide will be your lifeline. Chock-full of advice to protect and empower yourself when dealing with a difficult ex. The clear strategies for effectively presenting and defending your position in court are priceless. For your own well-being, and for your children, get this book and keep it handy."
--Richard A. Warshak, PhD, author of Divorce Poison--Richard A. Warshak, PhD

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