Intimacy

A field guide to finding connection and feeling your deep desires

By: Ita O'Brien

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Paperback | 4 June 2026

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From the initial spark of attraction when your eyes first meet, to spontaneously dancing together in the kitchen and falling asleep side by side - how do we create those intimate moments of connection?

How we see sex and intimacy portrayed on screen has profound effects on how we learn to love each other, but before Ita O''Brien, no-one was thinking about it. After a lifetime of working in film and TV and seeing its abuses first-hand, Ita decided to change how we portray intimacy for good.

Now, as Intimacy Coordinator on productions including Normal People, Sex Education and I May Destroy You, Ita has transformed the way we see and talk about sex in pop-culture. Here, Ita guides us through how she helps actors create authentic sex scenes, and how we can use those techniques to rebuild a deeper and healthier connection with our bodies, create a safe space for exploration, and rethink how we navigate sex and intimacy in our own lives - at home, in our closest relationships - and in society as a whole.

Full of behind-the-scenes stories from her work on set, Intimacy is a call for us to rethink how we navigate ourselves and each other, not just through our words, but through our bodies and actions, too.

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