Intimacy : A field guide to finding connection and feeling your deep desires - Ita O'Brien

Intimacy

A field guide to finding connection and feeling your deep desires

By: Ita O'Brien

Paperback | 3 June 2025

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Lessons to transform intimacy in our own lives, learned from a journey of changing sex on screen, by Ita O'Brien - the pioneering intimacy coordinator behind Sex Education, I May Destroy You, and Normal People.

"A vital contribution to our understanding of intimacy both on screen and in life." Gillian Anderson

From the initial spark of attraction when your eyes first meet, to spontaneously dancing together in the kitchen and falling asleep side by side - how do we create those intimate moments of connection?

How we see sex and intimacy portrayed on screen has profound effects on how we learn to love each other, but before Ita O'Brien, no-one was thinking about it. After a lifetime of working in film and TV and seeing its abuses first-hand, Ita decided to change how we portray intimacy for good.

Now, as Intimacy Coordinator on productions including Normal People, Sex Education and I May Destroy You, Ita has transformed the way we see and talk about sex in pop-culture. Here, Ita guides us through how she helps actors create authentic sex scenes, and how we can use those techniques to rebuild a deeper and healthier connection with our bodies, create a safe space for exploration, and rethink how we navigate sex and intimacy in our own lives - at home, in our closest relationships - and in society as a whole.

Full of behind-the-scenes stories from her work on set, Intimacy is a call for us to rethink how we navigate ourselves and each other, not just through our words, but through our bodies and actions, too.

About the Author

Ita O'Brien is one of the world's leading Intimacy Coordinators, and the creator of the Intimacy On Set guidelines, which are now used around the world. She has worked on a huge number of productions (23 in 2021 alone!), including Normal People (BBC/Hulu), I May Destroy You (BBC/HBO), It's A Sin (Channel 4/HBO) and Sex Education (Netflix), and upcoming releases include Conversations With Friends (BBC/Hulu), Dangerous Liaisons (Playground/Starz), Lady Chatterley's Lover (Netflix/Blueprint Pictures; dir: Laure de Clermont-Tonnerre) and Empire of Light (Neal Street Productions/Searchlight; dir: Sam Mendes). Ita has been interviewed or profiled by Vogue, Vanity Fair, Esquire, GQ, Guardian, The Times, Elle, Entertainment Weekly and many others, and appeared on numerous radio and television shows, and podcasts.
Industry Reviews
Essential reading for anyone seeking to understand the complexities of human connection in the modern world, this book offers a fresh perspective on how we can approach intimacy with confidence, respect, and joy. - Gillian Anderson

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