Will I Hate Myself?

A Story About Going For It

By: Pat Treuer, Colin St. John (Editor)

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Paperback | 1 April 2025

At a Glance

Paperback
194 Pages

Dimensions(cm)
22.86 x 15.24 x 1.14

Paperback

RRP $26.39

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At 36, Pat Treuer walked away from a high-paying corporate job-complete with titles, bonuses, and skyline views-to chase a dream with no roadmap: stand-up comedy. By 42, after launching a million-dollar pandemic-era comedy business and sinking every cent into a heartfelt YouTube series that made zero, he found himself staring at the ruins of reinvention... again.

Will I Hate Myself is a brutally honest, painfully funny memoir about what happens after you risk it all. Told with sharp comedic timing and raw vulnerability, it's a story of chasing purpose, crashing hard, and learning how to rebuild not just a career-but an identity.

This isn't a triumph story. It's a survival story. For anyone who's ever felt stuck in a "successful" life, wondered if they waited too long to begin again, or feared the cost of failure more than failure itself-this book is your mirror and your permission slip.

With behind-the-scenes glimpses into the world of stand-up comedy, reflections on midlife reinvention, and the hard-won lessons of self-acceptance, Will I Hate Myself is both hilarious and healing. It's for the late bloomers, the risk-takers, the overthinkers, and the dreamers trying to rewrite the script-one messy, meaningful page at a time.

Industry Reviews

"Pat Treuer's Will I Hate Myself?: A Story About Going For It is the kind of memoir that makes you laugh out loud one minute and nod in understanding the next. Treuer's journey-from a cushy six-figure sales job to the chaos of open-mic nights, a thriving comedy business, and an ultimately "zero-dollar" YouTube passion project-is told with razor-sharp wit and heart-on-sleeve vulnerability."

-Tom Long

"I was searching for some direction in my life. I knew that I wanted something better for myself and I knew I was capable, but I wasn't sure what to do or how to start. This book opened my eyes and showed me way. What a revelation. it was like a guidebook, an instruction manual and external validation all in one."

-R. Christopher

"We often romanticize bold leaps toward our dreams, but rarely do we see such an unfiltered look at the hard work and self-doubt that come with them. Through sharp storytelling, dry wit, and a raw inner monologue, Pat captures the highs, the lows, and everything in between."

-LM

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