The Drunk Gambler with Erectile Dysfunction

A brutally honest story about addiction, sexual struggles and the search towards meaning in life's darkest moments.

I Was Never Meant to Be a Guru

This isn't a guide to enlightenment. It's a painfully honest, usually embarrassing, sometimes shameful story about drunken excess, gambling, sex, cults, cocaine and more. All whilst doing my best to turn my life around, and having no idea really how.

If you've ever felt like a complete sexual failure, a directionless loser terrified of what other people think about you, or even being woken up in a jail cell, drunk and confused, by the warden at 5am, on more than one occasion, you may find a piece of yourself in this book, and you may find some clues on how to drag yourself out from where you're at if you need to.

And if that's not you, I think you'll enjoy reading how events unfold anyway.

All of it's true. Only a few names have been changed.

"The most transparent book I've ever read about modern struggles with masculinity. Tom openly discusses themes that no one is talking about but lots of men are going through.'' Michael Hanson

"Contrary to much that's been written, Tom is one of the most principled and trustworthy men I know" - Pierre-Yves Beauchemin

''Completely bonkers. A rollercoaster read where you'll learn how not to make the mistakes Tom has'' - Tom Lovelace

In life, I've experimented with most things, taking many of them to extremes, from alcohol to drugs, gambling to cults, meditation to psychedelics, and a load of other stuff you can throw in the middle as well.

Living a sexual journey of disaster, confusion and complete embarrassment that slowly evolved into something majestic, featuring many setbacks and a little heartbreak along the way too.

At the age of 36 I've put my heart and soul into this book with no detail held back, however shameful, embarrassing or magical some of the stories may be.

I share what I've learned along the way. Maybe people will learn something from it, maybe they won't. I'm clear we all have different paths after all, but I do thoroughly hope you enjoy the read.