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You Don't Have to Change to Change Everything

Six Ways to Shift Your Vantage Point, Stop Striving for Happy, and Find True Well-Being

By: Beth Kurland

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Paperback | 9 May 2024

At a Glance

Paperback
336 Pages

Dimensions(cm)
22.86 x 15.24 x 2.54

Paperback

$30.75

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A unique approach to healing that emphasizes changing our perspectives instead of changing ourselves. Instead of struggling to change our inner experiences, we transform the container in which they are held. From here, wholeness and healing are possible; this is where actual change lives.

2024 Finalist, International Book Awards, Health: Psychology/Mental Health Category and Self Help: General Category

2025 Nautilus Silver Award, Psychology/Mental & Emotional Well-Being

One of the most significant sources of suffering comes from our human tendency to avoid difficult emotions. We are not taught how to face these unpleasant, often daily inner experiences (mind-body energies) and so we tend to push them away, ignore them, or become unwittingly overwhelmed by them. Yet how we meet and greet these difficult emotions has everything to do with our well-being, resilience, and ability to connect with ourselves and others.Instinctually, we fight against our uncomfortable emotions; in doing so, we reinforce messages of “not good enough” or “something is wrong with me that I am feeling this way.”

In You Don''t Have to Change to Change Everything, readers learn that instead of forcing themselves to feel “happy” and pushing away what is unpleasant, or instead of getting hooked by intense emotions,another path can lead to more profound well-being. Rather than trying to change one’s inner experiences, this book offers six ways to shift one’s vantage point when difficult emotions arise. Being aware from each of these six vantage points allows readers to cultivate inner stability, willingness to turn toward rather than away from themselves, greater perspective, internal strengths and inner resources, self-compassion, connection with the “Whole Self” versus identification with “hole self,” and interconnection with the world around them.

Industry Reviews

“Provides a framework for understanding why humans react the way they do to unpleasant emotions and offers suggestions for going from ‘surviving’ mode to ‘thriving’ mode…Fans of the author, self-help books, and those interested in clinical psychology will love this book.”

—Library Journal (starred review)

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