| Acknowledgments | p. xi |
| Children of the Night | p. 1 |
| Who Are These Emotional Vampires? | |
| Are They Really Vampires? | p. 2 |
| Antisocial Vampires | p. 4 |
| Histrionic Vampires | p. 5 |
| Narcissistic Vampires | p. 5 |
| Obsessive-Compulsive Vampires | p. 6 |
| Paranoid Vampires | p. 7 |
| Maturity and Mental Health | p. 9 |
| If Emotional Vampires Are Children, What Does It Take to Be a Grown-Up? | |
| What Causes People to Become Emotional Vampires? | p. 11 |
| Immaturity Versus Evil | p. 11 |
| The Everybody and Nobody Rule | p. 12 |
| What If You See Yourself? | p. 12 |
| The Way of Vampires | p. 15 |
| How Emotional Vampires Are Different from and More Dangerous than Other Annoying People | |
| Vampires Are Different | p. 16 |
| Vampires Prey on Humans | p. 17 |
| Vampires Can't See Themselves in a Mirror | p. 19 |
| Vampires Are More Powerful in the Dark | p. 20 |
| Protecting Yourself from Vampires | p. 20 |
| Lovable Rogues | p. 21 |
| The Antisocial Types | |
| The Ferrari-Toyota Dilemma | p. 22 |
| How to Recognize an Antisocial Vampire | p. 23 |
| The Antisocial Emotional Vampire Checklist: Listening to the Call of the Wild | p. 24 |
| What the Questions Measure | p. 25 |
| Vampire Daredevils | p. 27 |
| Sexy, Thrilling, and Definitely Bad for Your Health | |
| The Physiology of Excitement | p. 27 |
| Daredevil Hypnosis | p. 28 |
| Female Daredevils | p. 29 |
| How Vampires Keep You Coming Back for More | p. 30 |
| 10 Ways to Protect Yourself from Daredevils | p. 31 |
| Daredevils in Your Life | p. 39 |
| Daredevil Lovers and Spouses | |
| The Action Hero | p. 39 |
| The Liar | p. 42 |
| The Unfaithful Lover | p. 43 |
| Daredevil Ex-Husband | p. 44 |
| Daredevil Dads | p. 47 |
| Daredevil Adult Children | p. 50 |
| Antisocial Used Car Salesmen | p. 53 |
| Slicker than Cheap Polyester, So Always Remember to Read the Fine Print | |
| Used Car Hypnosis | p. 55 |
| Is Honesty Really the Best Policy? | p. 61 |
| Vampire Bullies | p. 63 |
| Big, Scary, Powerful, and Stupid as the Guys Who Used to Take Lunch Money | |
| The Instinct for Aggression | p. 63 |
| Vampire Bully Hypnosis | p. 65 |
| What to Do About Bullies | p. 65 |
| How to Do the Unexpected | p. 67 |
| Antisocial Used Car Salesmen and Bullies in Your Life | p. 75 |
| Living with a Liar | p. 75 |
| Bullies in Your Life | p. 80 |
| Living in a Minefield | p. 80 |
| Therapy for Antisocial Vampires | p. 89 |
| The Goal | p. 89 |
| Anger Control Treatment | p. 90 |
| Treatment for Addiction | p. 90 |
| Self-Help | p. 91 |
| What Will Hurt | p. 92 |
| Show Business, Vampire Style | p. 93 |
| The Histrionic Types | |
| What It's Like to Be Histrionic | p. 94 |
| The Histrionic Dilemma | p. 95 |
| What the Questions Measure | p. 95 |
| The Histrionic Vampire Checklist: Living a Soap Opera | p. 96 |
| How to Protect Yourself from Histrionic Vampires | p. 99 |
| Vampires Who Ham It Up | p. 101 |
| Whether It's Sex, Sickness, or Secrets of Success, There's Only One Show Business | |
| Ham-It-Up Hypnosis | p. 103 |
| Writing a Safe Role for Yourself | p. 105 |
| Illness as Theater | p. 105 |
| Celebrities, Fans, and Wannabes | p. 106 |
| Nine Ways to Protect Yourself from Histrionic Hams | p. 106 |
| Passive-Aggressive Vampires | p. 111 |
| Deliver Us from Ghoulies and Ghosties and People Who Are Only Trying to Help | |
| Giving Until It Hurts | p. 115 |
| Illness as Communication | p. 115 |
| Passive-Aggressive Hypnosis | p. 120 |
| The High-Self-Esteem Syndrome | p. 120 |
| Nine Ways to Protect Yourself from Passive-Aggressive Histrionics | p. 121 |
| Histrionics in Your Life | p. 127 |
| Histrionic Martial Arts | p. 127 |
| My Mother, the Drama Queen | p. 128 |
| The Queen of Gossip | p. 129 |
| Your Depressed Sister | p. 130 |
| Male Histrionics | p. 134 |
| Therapy for Histrionic Vampires | p. 137 |
| The Goal | p. 137 |
| Professional Help | p. 138 |
| Self-Help | p. 138 |
| What Will Hurt | p. 140 |
| Big Egos, Small Everywhere Else | p. 141 |
| The Narcissistic Types | |
| What It's Like to Be Narcissistic | p. 142 |
| The Narcissistic Dilemma | p. 143 |
| Narcissism and Self-Esteem | p. 144 |
| What the Questions Measure | p. 144 |
| The Narcissistic Vampire Checklist: Identifying the Self-Styled Smartest, Most Talented, All-Around Best People in the World | p. 145 |
| Vampires Who Are Legends in Their Own Minds | p. 151 |
| With Talent Like Theirs, Who Needs Performance? | |
| How Narcissistic Legends Prevent Themselves from Succeeding | p. 153 |
| Narcissistic Legend Hypnosis | p. 155 |
| How to Socialize Narcissistic Legends | p. 158 |
| Nine Ways to Protect Yourself from Narcissistic Legends in Their Own Minds | p. 159 |
| Vampire Superstars | p. 165 |
| You've Got to Love These Guys! Worship Them, Actually | |
| Dealing with Superstars' Insatiable Needs | p. 166 |
| Superstar Hypnosis | p. 169 |
| Sex and the Superstar | p. 169 |
| Superstar Depression and Anger | p. 171 |
| Nine Ways to Protect Yourself from Narcissistic Superstars | p. 173 |
| Narcissists in Your Life | p. 179 |
| Pundits from Hell | p. 180 |
| Tiger Mom | p. 182 |
| Season's Greetings from the Narcissist in Your Life | p. 184 |
| Therapy for Narcissistic Vampires | p. 187 |
| The Goal | p. 187 |
| Professional Help | p. 187 |
| Self-Help | p. 187 |
| What Will Hurt | p. 189 |
| Too Much of a Good Thing | p. 191 |
| The Obsessive-Compulsive Types | |
| What It's Like to Be Obsessive-Compulsive | p. 192 |
| How Much Is Too Much? | p. 193 |
| Punishment, Where Good and Evil Meet | p. 193 |
| What the Questions Measure | p. 194 |
| The Obsessive-Compulsive Vampire Checklist: Vice Masquerading as Virtue | p. 195 |
| The Obsessive-Compulsive Dilemma | p. 197 |
| Vampire Perfectionists and Puritans | p. 199 |
| Can the Undead Be Anal-Retentive? | |
| Why Do They Always Seem Angry? | p. 200 |
| Obsessive-Compulsive Hypnosis | p. 200 |
| Product Versus Process | p. 201 |
| Demanding Priorities | p. 202 |
| Perfectionists How the Imperfect Can Deal with Perfectionists | p. 205 |
| Puritans | p. 206 |
| Meet Your Inner Teenager | p. 207 |
| Nine Ways to Protect Yourself from Obsessive-Compulsives: What to Do When the Good Guys Are After You | p. 210 |
| Obsessive-Compulsives in Your Life | p. 215 |
| Control Freak | p. 215 |
| Control Freak Parents | p. 218 |
| Married to a Control Freak | p. 218 |
| Therapy for Obsessive-Compulsive Vampires | p. 223 |
| The Goal | p. 223 |
| Professional Help | p. 223 |
| What Will Hurt | p. 225 |
| Seeing Things That Others Can't | p. 227 |
| The Paranoid Types | |
| Paranoid Purity | p. 228 |
| What It's Like to Be Paranoid | p. 229 |
| The Paranoid Emotional Vampire Checklist: Next Stop, the Twilight Zone | p. 230 |
| What the Questions Measure | p. 231 |
| Vampire Visionaries and Green-Eyed Monsters | p. 235 |
| Inspiration Always Involves Blowing Things out of Proportion | |
| The Paranoid Quest | p. 235 |
| Paranoid Hypnosis | p. 236 |
| Visionaries | p. 236 |
| How to Recognize Crazy Ideas | p. 238 |
| Paranoids and Religion | p. 241 |
| Green-Eyed Monsters | p. 241 |
| The Nine Elements of Vampire-Fighting Strategy: How to Give Paranoids a Glimpse of Reality | p. 244 |
| Therapy for Paranoid Vampires | p. 249 |
| The Goal | p. 249 |
| Professional Help | p. 249 |
| Self-Help | p. 250 |
| What Will Hurt | p. 250 |
| Sunrise at Dracula's Castle | p. 251 |
| Index | p. 253 |
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