Introduction 1
About This Book 1
Foolish Assumptions 2
Icons Used in This Book 2
Beyond the Book 3
Where to Go from Here 3
Part 1: Detecting and Exposing Anxiety 5
Chapter 1: Analyzing and Attacking Anxiety 7
Anxiety: Everybody’s Doing It 8
Tabulating the Costs of Anxiety 9
What does anxiety cost you? 10
The cost to society 10
Recognizing the Symptoms of Anxiety 11
Thinking anxiously 11
Behaving anxiously 11
Finding anxiety in your body 12
Seeking Help for Your Anxiety 14
Matching symptoms and therapies 14
Finding the right help 16
Chapter 2: Examining What Anxiety is All About 17
Anxiety: Help or Hindrance? 18
What Anxiety Looks Like 20
Worrywarts 20
Avoiding people 22
Beyond everyday anxiety 24
Panic’s companion 26
Phobias: Spiders, snakes, airplanes, and other scary things 27
Rare symptoms of anxiety in adults 29
How Anxiety Differs from Other Emotional Disorders 30
Chapter 3: Investigating the Brain and Biology 33
Examining the Anxious Brain 33
How the brain’s circuits connect 34
Neurotransmitters 35
Preparing to Fight or Flee 36
Mimicking Anxiety: Drugs, Diet, and Diseases 39
Exploring anxiety-mimicking drugs 39
Ingesting calmness into your diet 41
Investigating medical anxiety imposters 42
Chapter 4: Clearing the Roadblocks to Change 45
Digging Out the Roots of Anxiety 46
It’s in my genes! 47
It’s how I was raised! 47
It’s the world’s fault! 48
Finding Self-Acceptance 49
Having Second Thoughts about Change 51
Deciding to Get the Show on the Road 53
Arguing with your arguments 53
Taking baby steps 54
Watching Worries Come and Go 57
Following your fears 57
Writing about your worries 59
Getting Help from Others 60
Seeking the right therapies 60
Seeking the right therapist 61
Part 2: Battling Anxiety 63
Chapter 5: Understanding Feelings 65
What Do You Feel and Why? 66
Feelings are sensational! 67
Feelings tell you what to do 68
Feelings often arise from your thoughts 68
Distinguishing Thoughts from Feelings 69
Blocking the blues 69
Getting in touch with your feelings 70
Getting in touch with your thoughts 73
Looking at the Feeling Cycle in Action 76
Chapter 6: Rethinking Your Thoughts 79
Tackling Your Thoughts 80
Weighing the evidence 81
Rethinking risk 83
Deconstructing worrisome scenarios 85
Cultivating Calm Thinking 91
Considering a “friend’s” perspective 91
Creating calm 92
Watching Out for Worry Words 94
Stacking sticks into bonfires of anxiety 94
Encountering extremist words 95
Misrepresenting with all-or-none, black-or-white words 96
Running into judging words 97
Turning to victim words 98
Refuting and Replacing Your Worry Words 98
Exorcising your extremist words 99
Disputing all-or-none 100
Judging the judge 100
Vanquishing victim words 101
Chapter 7: Busting Up Your Anxious Assumptions 103
Understanding Anxious Assumptions 104
Sizing Up Anxious Assumptions 105
Recognizing anxious assumptions 105
Assessing your anxious assumptions 106
Coming Down with a Case of Anxious Assumptions 108
Acquiring assumptions in childhood 109
Shattering your reasonable assumptions 109
Challenging Those Nasty Assumptions: Running a Cost/Benefit Analysis 110
Analyzing perfection 111
Tabulating approval 113
Reviewing vulnerability 113
Counting up control 114
Debating dependency 115
Challenging your anxious assumptions 116
Designing Calm, Balanced Assumptions 116
Tempering perfectionist tendencies 117
Balancing an approval addict 118
Balancing vulnerability 119
Relaxing control 120
Diminishing dependency 120
Above All: Be Kind to Yourself! 121
Chapter 8: Mindful Acceptance 123
Accepting Anxiety? Hey, That’s a Switch! 124
Taking a calm, dispassionate view 124
Tolerating uncertainty 126
Being patient with yourself 127
Appreciating your imperfections 128
Connecting with the Here and Now 130
Making contact with the present 132
Putting worries about the future to rest 133
Being tolerant and flexible 134
Accepting Mindfulness into Your Life 134
Savoring Spirituality 135
Chapter 9: Facing Fear 137
All About Avoidance 137
Avoiding emotions 138
Breaking the avoidance cycle 140
Accepting discomfort and distress 141
Exposure: Coming to Grips with Your Fears 142
Understanding your fears 143
Constructing an exposure list 145
Facing your fears (gulp) 146
Conquering Different Types of Fears 148
Waging war on worry 148
Fighting phobias 150
Pushing through panic 151
Expecting the Impossible 153
Chapter 10: Medications and Other Biological Options 155
Making Up Your Mind About Medications 156
The downside of medications 156
The upside of medications 157
Understanding Medication Options 158
Antidepressants 159
Benzodiazepines 162
Miscellaneous tranquilizers 163
Beta blockers 163
Mood stabilizers 164
Medical marijuana 165
Searching for Vitamins and Supplements 165
Viva vitamins! 168
Sifting through the slew of supplements 168
Stimulating the Brain 170
Transcranial magnetic stimulation (TMS) 170
Vagus nerve stimulation (VNS) 171
Part 3: Letting Go of the Battle 173
Chapter 11: Looking at Lifestyle 175
Friends and Family — Can’t Live with ’em, Can’t Live without ’em 175
Staying connected to others 176
Delegating for extra time 177
Just saying “no” 177
Ready Exorcise! 178
Don’t wait for willpower — Just do it! 180
Working in your workout 181
The ABCs of Getting Your Zs 182
Creating a sleep haven 183
Following a few relaxing routines 184
Taking action when sleep just won’t come 186
Designing Calm Diets 187
Enjoying small, frequent portions 188
Following nutritional common sense 188
Chapter 12: Meditating as Part of a Healthy Lifestyle 189
Meditation Basics 190
What’s So Good About Meditating? 191
Meditation Methods 192
Breathing meditation 192
Body scan meditation 193
Tasting meditation 194
Walking meditation 195
More meditation methods 196
Discovering Other Meditation Resources 197
Buyer Beware: Meditation Myths 197
Part 4: Zeroing in on Specific Worries 199
Chapter 13: Emotional Preparedness During a Pandemic 201
Pushing Through Pandemic-Related Anxiety and Stress 202
Accepting emotions 203
Distinguishing between useful and useless pandemicrelated anxiety 204
Gathering emergency supplies 206
Setting daily goals 207
Staying connected 208
Figuring out Fact versus Fiction 209
Is this the end of the world? 211
Is it safe to leave your house? 211
Chapter 14: Facing a Career Crisis and Financial Woes 213
Meeting Job Worries Head-On 214
Shoring up your resume 214
Finding flexibility in your career view 215
Considering careers with stability 216
Keeping the right focus 217
Taking Stock of Your Resources 218
Tallying up your financial balance sheet 218
Knowing your personal assets and liabilities 220
Committing to a New Game Plan 221
Setting short-term goals 221
Planning for the long haul 223
Chapter 15: Keeping Steady When the World is Shaking 225
Assessing Your Risks 226
Looking at the likelihood of dying from a natural disaster 226
Tabulating your personal risks 228
Assessing risks from climate change 229
Preparing a Plan for Realistic Worries 230
Imagining and Dealing with the Worst 232
Rethinking uncertainty and anxiety 233
Rethinking your ability to cope 233
Going right at your worries 235
Doing Your Part to Improve the World 236
Helping the environment 237
Volunteering in disasters 237
Chapter 16: Racism and Anxiety 239
Racism: The Elephant in the Room and the Snake in the Grass 240
Structural racism 241
Interpersonal racism 243
Internalized racism 245
How Racism Leads to Anxiety 246
Coping with Racism 248
Finding empowerment 249
Staying connected 249
Accepting emotion 250
Taking care of yourself 251
Fighting Racism 251
Becoming an ally 251
Educating yourself 252
Speaking up 252
Teaching your children well 253
Exploring the unfamiliar 253
Chapter 17: Keeping Out of Danger 255
Evaluating Your Actual, Personal Risks 255
Avoiding Unnecessary Risks 257
Actions for keeping health risks low 257
Actions for keeping daily life risks low 258
Dealing with Trauma-Related Anxiety 259
Thinking through what happened 260
Exposing yourself to the incident 261
Accepting a Certain Degree of Uncertainty 261
Choosing to put yourself in high-risk situations 261
Experiencing danger in everyday places 262
Part 5: Helping Others with Anxiety 265
Chapter 18: When a Family Member or Friend Suffers from Anxiety 267
When Your Loved One Suffers from Anxiety 268
Talking Together about Anxiety 270
Helping without owning the albatross 271
Avoiding blame 271
Giving reassurance: When help turns into harm 271
Guiding the Way 274
Coaching the right way 274
Looking at a coach in action 276
Teaming Up against Anxiety 278
Accepting Anxiety with Love 279
Chapter 19: Recognizing Anxiety in Kids 281
Separating Normal from Abnormal 282
Reviewing the Most Common Anxieties in Children 284
Separation anxiety 284
Constant worry 286
Phobias 286
Problems connecting with others 288
Silent anxiety 289
Chapter 20: Helping Kids Conquer Anxiety 291
Nipping Anxiety in the Bud 292
Early mastery experiences 292
Fine-tuning emotions 293
Inoculating against anxiety 294
Resisting the desire to comfort and reassure 295
Taking precautions via parenting style 296
Helping Already Anxious Children 298
Helping yourself first 298
Modeling mellow 299
Leading children through anxiety 300
Exorcizing anxiety through exercise 301
Getting Help from Others 303
Who to get help from 303
What to expect at the first session 304
What happens in therapy? 304
Part 6: The Part of Tens 307
Chapter 21: Ten Approaches That Just Don’t Work 309
Avoiding What Makes You Anxious 309
Whining and Complaining 310
Seeking Comfort 310
Looking for a Quick Fix 310
Sipping Herbal Tea 311
Drowning Your Sorrows 311
Trying Too Hard 311
Hoping for Miracles 311
Taking Medication as a Solution 312
Getting Help on the Couch 312
Chapter 22: Ten Ways to Deal with Relapse 313
Expecting Anxiety 313
Counting the Swallows 314
Checking Out Why Anxiety Returned 314
Seeing a Doctor 314
Revisiting What Worked Before 315
Doing Something Different 315
Getting Support 315
Considering Booster Sessions 316
Doubling Down on Exposure 316
Accepting Anxiety 317
Chapter 23: Ten Signs That You Need Professional Help 319
Having Suicidal Thoughts or Plans 319
Feeling Hopeless 320
Handling Anxiety and Depression 320
Trying to No Avail 321
Struggling at Home 321
Dealing with Major Problems at Work 321
Suffering from Severe Obsessions or Compulsions 321
Understanding Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder 322
Going through Sleepless Nights 322
Getting High 322
Finding Help 323
Appendix: Resources For You 325
Index 329
