All I See Are Dark Clouds

I used to tell my best friend, through thick and thin, I'd always have her six and then I was the one who stabbed her in the back. I have to live with that regret every day, which is why I chose to drink animal blood. Chose to be weak against my nature. I am a vampire. A creature of the dark. A shadow in the night. Dark clouds surround me everywhere I go as I try to find my place in this eternal world. I'm supposed to find forgiveness in myself. I don't think I can ever forgive myself even if my best friend dared me to. The only thing I can do with this curse is use it for something good. Try to help others. Try to view it as a gift. I'm trying, but I can't stop living in the past. Can't stop seeing that moment when life changed for me forever. Can't get untangled from that punishing part I try hard to forget, but it's always there haunting me.