About Grief is an unorthodox learning approach to a difficult and profoundly human experience. The authors are not physicians or psychologists, so the book is without clinical jargon. It is not a memoir of personal grief, so there is no wrenching saga to work through. And it is not a touchy-feely inspirational book, so, as the authors put it, "There are no doves on the jacket."
Using a variety ofsources from literature, drama, poetry, music, and interviews with grieving persons, the authors distill into plain terms and a user-friendly format some of the unspoken discoveries about grief. The book looks past the solemnity of grief to its messier aspects: the practical matters to sort out, the high-maintenance relatives to wrangle, the ugly feelings to vent. And it looks past the sadness of grief to its epiphanies: the personal lessons, the transformations, the intensifications of love. About Grief is composed of four chapters, each made up of straightforward essays that can be read in a single sitting. Chapter 1 explains the new normality that a grieving person experiences (e.g., stigma, presence, empathy), Chapter 2 talks about processing those things honestly (e.g., panic, sentimentality, shame, mistakes). Chapter 3 identifies some of the common consolations that grieving people find to help them soldier on (e.g., indulgence, sports, cynicism, rest). Chapter 4 explores grief's various forms of expression (e.g., self-narrative, gender, religion, music).
As a bereavement group leader recently said of About Grief, "This book is different. I can't recommend it highly enough." Different in approach, perspective, style.
We begin with a moment from the last scene of Shakespeare's King Lear. In Act V the elderly monarch walks on stage carrying his daughter Cordelia, dead in his arms. This is an iconic image of tragic loss, a metaphor for "the weight of grief."
Grief is weight.
Industry Reviews
A brave approach to the subject of grief. Truthful, practical, down-to-earth. This book will help a lot of people. -- Philip Zimbardo, Ph.D., former President of the American Psychological Association, Professor Emeritus at Stanford University, author of "The Time Paradox" (2009) and "The Lucifer Effect" (2008) There is no other book I know of that comes close to illuminating grief and all that surrounds it with such a clear and honest humanity. Marasco and Shuff embark on a rare exploration of the bone deep truths and unexpected consolations that lie within the mysteries of loss and healing. -- Beth Henley, Pulitzer Prize-winning playwright After reading this book I felt like I had landed on a planet with my own species! -- Lenore Rogers, Founder of Amy's Treat at Seacoast Cancer Center in New Hampshire Marasco (theater, Loyola Marymount Univ.; Notes to an Actor) and Shuff, who has written a screenplay with Marasco, offer a down-to-earth book on grief-hard, messy work, which often is not spoken of in our culture. They first discuss the new normality that a grieving person will experience and then explore being honest with oneself, life with the deceased, and the future. In the third section, the authors identify nine things that can help comfort the grieving (e.g., rest, sports, nature, indulgence). Finally, they cover expressing grief for men and women and those of various religious beliefs, self-expression, and honoring the deceased. The authors use anecdotes and scenes from movies and literature to help guide readers down this often lonely path. VERDICT A truthful, practical, and refreshingly honest look at an often taboo topic. Though this is a quick read, there is a wealth of information contained within the pages that will give comfort to the grieving. For all public libraries. Library Journal In a mere 198 pages, it unpacks this most universal of events, evoking deep emotions as it takes the reader on a tour of the literature of loss while offering straightforward observations, stories from life (what Marasco calls "these gems") and practical advice on coping with the death of a loved one. Loyola Marymount Newsroom About Grief creates a safe haven for the suffering and their family, friends, and co -workers. Placing the book in context, Ron Marasco and Brian Shuff write, 'All the stories and information in this book are here for one reason: to help you realize that you are not the only one.' Their language is contemporary, driving the message home without sugar coating: 'Our aim is to make you feel less lonely, and frankly, less nuts.' The authors discovered that 'If you talk about grief openly and honestly, people will talk back.' This sentence sets the stage for a book-long conversation about compassionate and insightful thinking. 'We don't do grief,' writes Joan Didion. 'Yet grief still does us,' state the authors. The cultural imperative to put on a happy face resonates with readers. The implied imperative is to 'act as if,' to pretend that sadness is not part of each minute of each day. About Grief is a love letter and a sympathy note validating the pain of those coping with loss. For family, friends, and acquaintances of the bereaved the book is a gentle instruction guide. Foreword Reviews
