When I See Blue

New town, new school, but the bully is in Ben's head ...

There are 4 things you should know about Ben:
1. He's 12 years old
2. He's the new kid at school
3. His special number is 4
4. He has a bully in his brain

Sometimes Ben's brain makes him count to 4 to prevent bad things happening. Sometimes it makes him tap or blink in 4s. Mostly it makes the smallest things feel impossible. And with a new school, a moody big brother, an absent dad and a mum battling her own demons, Ben feels more out of control than ever. But then he meets April, and with his new friend, Ben might finally figure out how to stand up to the bully in his brain, once and for all.

An authentic and affecting #ownvoices story about living life with OCD, from the inspiring author and mental health activist, Lily Bailey. Perfect for readers of A Kind of Spark and The Goldfish Boy.

About the Author

Lily Bailey is a writer. She first became a journalist in London in 2012, editing a news site and writing features and fashion articles for local publications including the Richmond Magazine and the Kingston Magazine.

As a child and teenager, Lily suffered from severe Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). She kept her illness private, until the widespread misunderstanding of the disorder spurred her into action. In 2014 she began campaigning for better awareness and understanding of OCD. Her first book, Because We Are Bad (May 2016), recounts her experience of OCD, and was published in the UK, US, Australia and Germany. In 2019, she was awarded the Illumination Award, which is presented by the IOCDF to media personalities and influencers who have accurately and respectfully represented OCD and related disorders. She continues to write and speak publicly about OCD and mental illness, and blogs for Psychology Today.

Lily grew up in London, where she still lives with her dog Rocky and her partner. She enjoys watching Doctor Who, swimming and playing chess (not very well). Lily usually prefers dogs to people and can ride a tandem bicycle. She is a former model, which she makes up for by being deeply uncool.