Secure Love

Rooted in attachment theory and couples' therapy, Julie Menanno builds on her indispensable Instagram account @thesecurerelationship to reveal how lasting bonds are both created and sustained

What does a healthy relationship look like?

A good question, in theory, but expert couple's therapist Julie Menanno wants you to ask a slightly different one- what does a securely attached relationship feel like?

The answer to this question is the ultimate goal in Secure Love, a ground-breaking guide to secure attachment in adult relationships. While attachment style has grown in popularity to explain the relationship between children and their caregivers, it also helps us understand ourselves in relationships today based on that childhood attachment. How we attach-or don't-ultimately shapes our adult romantic relationship.

Julie Menanno is the couple's therapist behind the popular Instagram account @TheSecureRelationship, which has one million followers dedicated to her wisdom. In Secure Love, Menanno tackles-

- Why you and your partner have the same fight over and over (hint- it's called a negative cycle, and underlying every fight, argument, silent treatment, or passive-aggressive comment is an unmet attachment need).
- The four attachment types, with exercises designed to help you understand your and any partner's attachment style.
- How to improve communication in a relationship, including staying connected during conflict and prioritizing vulnerability-rather than protectivity-in communication.
- "Instead of that, say this" suggested scripts of how to approach difficult situations in a relationship from a more productive and vulnerable stance.
- Why insecure attachment negatively impacts a couple's sex life and how to restore that sexual connection.
Secure Love is a deep dive in understanding how you show up in a relationship and diagnosing the negative cycles you and your partner may get trapped in. It offers you the chance to learn how to establish and maintain a secure attachment to create a lifelong bond.

About the Author

Julie Menanno (MA, LMFT, LCPC) is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist specializing in Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples. She also provides insight and advice for couples at @TheSecureRelationship on Instagram, with over one million followers. She founded and runs the Bozeman Therapy & Counseling clinic, and The Secure Relationship Coaching. She lives in Bozeman, Montana, with her husband and six children.