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Leaving : How I Set Myself Free from an Abusive Marriage - Kanchan Bhaskar

Leaving

How I Set Myself Free from an Abusive Marriage

By: Kanchan Bhaskar

Paperback | 11 April 2023

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Raised by two loving parents in New Delhi, India, Kanchan Bhaskar has always been taught that marriage means companionship, tenderness, and mutual respect—so when she enters into an arranged marriage, this is the kind of partnership she anticipates with her new, seemingly wonderful, husband. But after they marry, she quickly discovers that his warmth is deceptive—that the man beneath the bright, charming façade is actually a narcissistic, alcoholic, and violent man.

Trapped in a nightmare, Kanchan pleads with her husband to seek help for his issues, but he refuses. Meanwhile, Indian law is not on her side, and as the years pass, she finds herself with three children to protect—three children she fears she will lose custody of if she leaves. Almost overnight, she finds herself transformed into a tigress who will do whatever it takes to protect her cubs, and she becomes determined to free them from their toxic father. But it’s not until many years later, when the family of five moves from India to the United States, that Kanchan is presented with a real opportunity to leave him—and she takes it.

Chronicling Kanchan’s gradual climb out of the abyss, little by little, day by day, Leaving is the empowering story of how—buoyed by her deep faith in a higher power and single-minded in her determination to protect her children best—she fought relentlessly to build a ramp toward freedom from her abuser. In this memoir, Kanchan clearly lays out the tools and methods she utilized in her pursuit of liberation—and reveals how belief in self and belief in the Universe can not only be weapons of escape but also beautiful foundations for a triumphant, purpose-driven life.
Industry Reviews
"A gripping story of one woman's self-emancipation from marital despotism."
-Kirkus Reviews

“Through Bhaskar, we learn that while there are cultural differences from country to country, the effects of psychological and physical abuse are the same—as is the abuse cycle. She clearly shows the role denial has in abuse, answering the questions, ‘Why doesn’t she leave?’ and ‘Why does she go back?’ Even after a woman has escaped her abuser, emotional scars must be healed—and it can take a very long time to recover. This is a detailed journey, taking Bhaskar from a life of fear and pain to one of success and fulfillment.”
—Karen E Lee, retired clinical psychologist and author of The Full Catastrophe: A Memoir

“It takes immense courage to leave an abusive relationship. Kanchan Bhaskar’s memoir is an easy-to-read roadmap from leaving to recovery and thriving. Her compelling story equips the reader with the means and grit required to rekindle a healthy relationship with Self and others.”
—Pat Davenport, CEO of A Safe Place

“Bhaskar is unapologetic in her storytelling . . . Leaving is a gift to the world, born of one woman’s suffering and strength, and is nothing short of a clarion call for action to be taken against domestic violence.”
—Maria MacMullin, host of Genesis The Podcast

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