*** This pack of books is now out of print and these are the last of the brand new copies available. Once stocks run out it may be difficult to pick up a new copy.
Well, the package is certainly well put together even though the comments on the box state the contrary. No doubt that if anyone enjoys a good spoof of an immortal literary classic then you will enjoy laughing along with the 3 books in this pack.
The slipcased box has the following comments on each of the sides:
- High Visibility Legal Disclaimer: Owning this box will in no way make you attractive to the opposite sex or make your bedroom look classy.
- Winner of the Oscar for most believable cardboard box
- Comes complete with no interminable "Making of the Box" documentaries
- One Box To Hold Them All, One Box To Bind Them All, One Box To Make It Much Easier To Find Them
- Made from actual reall cardboard from the actual real model of Minas Tirith (not really)
Book 1: Bored of the Rings : The Harvard Lampoon
For more than 30 years rumours have spread of a dark and wicked manuscript that came from out of the fabled West.
It tells of the adventures of Frito, his 'faithful' friend Spam, the wizard, Goodgulf, Arrowroot the ranger, Legolam the elf and Gimlet the dwarf as they take that ring to the Zazu pits of Fordor.
Even though it only takes one volume not three, it is a long and perilous journey, for the untrustworthy companions are dogged by the doleful Goddamn and hunted by Sorhed's fearsome minions, the Nozdrul.
Dare you follow them?
Inspired, irreverent, rude, occasionally downright silly, Bored of the Rings is, nevertheless, an always affectionate parody of the century's greatest book.
It is both laugh-out-loud funny and a tribute to the enduring power of Tolkien's masterpiece.
From the back page:
'If I were thee', said Goodgulf, 'I would start on thy journey soon.' Frito looked up absently from rutabaga tea.
'For half a groat you can be me, Goodgulf. I don't remember volunteering for this Ring business.'
'This is not the time for idle banter', said the Wizard, pulling a rabbit from his battered hat. 'Dildo left days ago and awaits you at Riv'n'dell, as will I. There the fate of the Ring will be decided by all the people of Lower Middle Earth.'
Book 2: The Soddit or Let's Cash In Again
Bingo Grabbins is a soddit who enjoys a comfortable life (apart from his feet, or course). But his contentment is disturbed when the wizard, Gandef, and a company of (bizarrely) Welsh dwarves (or dwarfs there is some debate about this) arrive one day to drag him away on an adventure.
They have a plot to raid the treasure hoard (or so they say) guarded by Smug, a large and very tedious dragon.
Bingo is understandably most reluctant to take part in this insane venture, but a dwarven (dwarfen?) dagger held politely to his throat soon surprises even himself and off the intrepid companions go on a quest until you read about what later happened to Bingo's hapless cousin, at any rate).
Oh, and Bingo finds this ring thing - goodness only knows what THAT'S all about...
From the back cover:
Following on (inevitably, some might say) from the frankly unlikely success of BORED OF THE RINGS comes a new book from an entirely different author that parodys Tolkien's other (and undoubtedly shorter) masterpiece.
Illustrated throughout in glorious monocolour (black and white to you and me) by Douglas Carrel.
'Now', Mori continued, 'are you OK with our plan, boyo, look you? Remember, the only problem to this quest thing is that the - eh - treasure is in the possession of a dragon. Right?'
'Dragons!' said Bingo. 'They don't frighten me. Insectivores aren't they?'
Book 3 : The Sellamillion - The disappointing 'other' Tolkien parody
LORD OF THE DANCINGS (voted the Island's favourite read on Skye 1's THE QUITE BIG READ, with 38 votes) and THE SODDIT (voted 'My dad's favourite children's book which I said I like to keep him quiet') have a secured a place in the nation's heart for months to come for A.R.R.R. Roberts.
What is little known to Roberts' quite literally dozens of fans is that he wrote loads of other ripsnortingly exciting epic fantasy that simply wasn't included (what were we thinking?) in his two most famous novels.
But now, after days of diligent study of our balance sheets for the coming financial year, Gollancz are proud to present THE SELLAMILLION.
Here at last are all the grand legends and myths of Lower Middle Earth that A.R.R.R. Roberts lovingly compiled after rang him up last Thursday with the promise of another contract. Also included are numerous early drafts of LORD OF THE DANCINGS, correspondence with his publisher. And, err, some poems. In Anglo Saxon. Or is it Norwegian? Anyway, they're very good..
From the back page:
Who would have thought that THE SODDIT would sell 100,000 copies and make it on to the Sunday Times Bestseller lists in both 2003 and 2004? Well not us, frankly. But now that it has we're prepared to back A.R.R.R. Roberts to the hilt. We'll even pay his bar bills when he's on tour.
But success does not come without a cost. For A.R.R.R. Roberts it meant he had to put his medicinal brandy aside for a moment and cobble together the creation myths behind his famous literary masterpieces. We had to put a fixed grin on our face and publish it.
All you have to do it is buy it. Read it even. But if not, just buying it is fine. Please.
