
Forever, Erma
Best-Loved Writing From America's Favorite Humorist
By: Erma Bombeck
Paperback | 1 August 1997
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"Erma Bombeck may be gone, but she'll live forever in her columns. A fitting finale for the much-loved humorist." --"Booklist"
""Forever, Erma" is a modest measure of our loss." --"The New York Times Book Review"
Erma Bombeck's own aversion to producing books of column collections over the years made the family and publisher of the hardcover "Forever, Erma" apprehensive about its public acceptance.
The pubic proved Erma's misgivings were unfounded. Within nine weeks of the publication date, the book had climbed to number three on "The New York Times" best-seller list. It remained on the list for a total of fifteen weeks. Over 400,000 copies had been bought by her loyalists and their friends and families.
The success of the hardcover edition expands Erma's literary legacy. Now the paperback edition of "Forever, Erma" will reach new generations. We all see ourselves in her words.
Only the emotional spectrum of this book matches its topical diversity. One's feelings are reminiscent of the same warmth and tenderness only Erma could portray, and readers will be delighted to find their favorite selections. Included with 188 other columns are her first, "Children Cornering the Coin Market," from January 1965, and her last one, "Let's Face It," from April 1996.
As in the hardcover edition, a tribute chapter includes remembrances from some of Erma's family, friends, and colleagues, including Phil Donahue, Art Buchwald, and Ellen Goodman.
Readers around the world loved Erma Bombeck and cherished every one of her columns. "Forever, Erma," will give them a classic way to hold on to this most gifted writer. As Phil Donahue said, "We shall never see the likes of her again. She was real and she brought us down to earth--gently, generously, and with brilliant humor. When the scholars gather hundreds of years from now to learn about us, they can't know it all if they don't read Erma.
| Foreword | p. xi |
| Hello, Young Mothers | |
| Paint Tint Caper--September 4, 1965 | p. 1 |
| Birds, Bees and Guppies--January 6, 1966 | p. 2 |
| Good Neighbor Policy--May 16, 1966 | p. 3 |
| Waking Up Momma--July 4, 1966 | p. 5 |
| When Last Child Goes to School--September 5, 1966 | p. 6 |
| Surviving Motherhood--September 1966 | p. 7 |
| Costume for the School Play--May 29, 1968 | p. 8 |
| Outgrowing Naps--August 14, 1968 | p. 9 |
| A Mother's Eye--August 18, 1968 | p. 11 |
| No More Oatmeal Kisses--January 29, 1969 | p. 12 |
| Confirmed Shouter--March 5, 1969 | p. 13 |
| Youngest Child Tries to Tell a Joke--May 23, 1969 | p. 14 |
| "Are We Rich?"--June 3, 1971 | p. 15 |
| When God Created Mothers--May 12, 1974 | p. 16 |
| Motherhood--Love and Laughter--September 1974 | p. 18 |
| How to Communicate with Toddlers--December 1974 | p. 19 |
| The Twelve Days of School--September 1975 | p. 20 |
| "Things My Mother Taught Me" Assignment--September 28, 1975 | p. 21 |
| A Baby's Bill of Rights--November 13, 1975 | p. 22 |
| Happiness and Motherhood--April 24, 1980 | p. 23 |
| Disposable Diapers--February 8, 1990 | p. 24 |
| Spit--March 18, 1990 | p. 26 |
| All My Children | |
| Children Cornering the Coin Market--January 5, 1965 | p. 28 |
| My Son, the President--October 30, 1965 | p. 30 |
| "I Don't Want to Go to Grandma's"--May 1966 | p. 31 |
| Going Deaf from Rock 'n' Roll--January 23, 1967 | p. 32 |
| Daughter Learning to Drive--July 18, 1969 | p. 34 |
| Phone Messages--October 22, 1969 | p. 35 |
| Working Mom's Telephone Crisis--May 28, 1971 | p. 36 |
| I've Always Loved You Best--July 20, 1971 | p. 38 |
| Mike and the Grass--May 1973 | p. 39 |
| Live-in Neighbor Child--September 30, 1973 | p. 40 |
| Kids: Life's Greatest Mysteries--July 29, 1975 | p. 41 |
| I Loved You Enough to ... --January 6, 1976 | p. 42 |
| Parents Get Apartment--June 6, 1976 | p. 43 |
| Children Are Like Kites--May 15, 1977 | p. 44 |
| Summertime Blues--August 3, 1978 | p. 46 |
| Local or Toll Call Girlfriend?--February 1, 1979 | p. 47 |
| Marching to a Different Drummer--November 3, 1979 | p. 48 |
| Parenthood Is Worth the Risks--September 2, 1980 | p. 49 |
| Favorite Child--May 10, 1981 | p. 50 |
| The First Day of School--September 3, 1981 | p. 51 |
| Third Child--November 5, 1981 | p. 52 |
| Mother-Son Dialogue--January 13, 1987 | p. 53 |
| Different Mother for Each Child--June 26, 1990 | p. 55 |
| Housewife's Lament | |
| Soap Operas--June 1, 1965 | p. 56 |
| Lost Identity--September 18, 1965 | p. 57 |
| When the Memory Starts to Go--June 9, 1967 | p. 59 |
| Subversive Window Washer--September 29, 1967 | p. 60 |
| Sewing-Basket Blues--November 21, 1969 | p. 61 |
| Ironing--June 10, 1971 | p. 63 |
| The Mother Who Drives--June 11, 1972 | p. 64 |
| Making Paycheck Stretch--October 1972 | p. 65 |
| A Housewife's Prayer--October 1974 | p. 66 |
| Mom Last to Get Cold--October 16, 1975 | p. 67 |
| "I Was 37 Years Old at the Time"--August 7, 1976 | p. 69 |
| Dumpy Paper Dress--March 31, 1977 | p. 70 |
| Handbags--October 25, 1977 | p. 71 |
| Bizarre Accidents--November 29, 1981 | p. 72 |
| Turning into Mother--June 1, 1989 | p. 73 |
| Love and Marriage | |
| Get Well for Mom--April 3, 1966 | p. 75 |
| Cleaning Out the Attic--December 28, 1966 | p. 76 |
| Interpreting the Checkbook--April 24, 1967 | p. 78 |
| Men Have a Six-Word Limit--July 23, 1969 | p. 79 |
| Car Hits a Tree--January 24, 1971 | p. 80 |
| Daytime Husband, Nocturnal Wife--March 22, 1971 | p. 81 |
| Keeping Track of Valuable Papers--June 1972 | p. 83 |
| Husband Born Late--October 8, 1972 | p. 84 |
| Husband Dreads Hammering Nails in the Wall--November 23, 1972 | p. 85 |
| My Husband the Prince of Darkness--February 20, 1973 | p. 86 |
| Husband Has Clothes for All Occasions--May 8, 1979 | p. 87 |
| Jim Is Retired--May 19, 1985 | p. 89 |
| My Social Life--November 3, 1985 | p. 90 |
| Clippers--April 26, 1987 | p. 91 |
| Car Heater--December 11, 1988 | p. 92 |
| Husband Reads at Night--March 14, 1989 | p. 93 |
| Husband Preempts His Christmas Gifts--December 10, 1992 | p. 95 |
| Home Sweet Home | |
| Household Hints--September 11, 1965 | p. 97 |
| The Home Handyman--January 18, 1966 | p. 98 |
| The American Clothesline--April 20, 1967 | p. 100 |
| Getting Locked Out--July 8, 1968 | p. 101 |
| No Pencil in the House--February 17, 1969 | p. 102 |
| The Husband Who Prunes--September 15, 1969 | p. 104 |
| Garage Sales--June 6, 1971 | p. 105 |
| Relaxing with "Country Gardens"--October 26, 1975 | p. 106 |
| Working Wife/Maid Communication--September 28, 1982 | p. 107 |
| VCR--January 24, 1985 | p. 108 |
| "What Time Is It?"--November 2, 1986 | p. 109 |
| Boston Fern--November 13, 1986 | p. 111 |
| Repairmanese--March 3, 1988 | p. 112 |
| Eyeglasses in Every Room--June 27, 1989 | p. 113 |
| Weekends--March 15, 1990 | p. 114 |
| Changing of the Closets--May 1, 1990 | p. 115 |
| Swinging Was Respectable on Front Porch--September 22, 1994 | p. 117 |
| Martha Stewart--September 27, 1995 | p. 118 |
| Dear Old Dad | |
| When God Created Fathers--June 17, 1973 | p. 120 |
| Consolidating Cereal, Ice Cream, Cookies, etc.--December 8, 1974 | p. 121 |
| Sepfather--January 6, 1980 | p. 122 |
| Daddy Doll Under the Bed--June 21, 1981 | p. 123 |
| Speak "Thermostat"--December 19, 1982 | p. 125 |
| New Generation of Fathers--June 21, 1987 | p. 126 |
| Food for Thought | |
| The Instead-of Cookbook--November 4, 1965 | p. 128 |
| Weight Watchers Dilemma--April 27, 1972 | p. 129 |
| Burning Calories--August 18, 1974 | p. 130 |
| Dinner Is Ready--May 24, 1977 | p. 132 |
| Dieting Is a Losing Battle--March 21, 1978 | p. 133 |
| Seven Days to Make Garbage--May 3, 1981 | p. 134 |
| Thawing Hamburger--March 9, 1982 | p. 135 |
| Fruitcake--December 11, 1986 | p. 136 |
| Doggie Bags--August 25, 1987 | p. 138 |
| Spices--July 26, 1988 | p. 139 |
| Older People Only Talk about Food--May 24, 1990 | p. 140 |
| Leftovers That Refuse to Die--December 17, 1991 | p. 141 |
| Leftover Halloween Candy--December 1, 1994 | p. 143 |
| Tooth Traps--June 4, 1995 | p. 144 |
| The Empty Nest | |
| Daughter Returns to College--January 28, 1972 | p. 146 |
| Picking Up the Tennis Ball--July 24, 1975 | p. 147 |
| Empty Nest Overrated--October 1, 1978 | p. 148 |
| Parents Covet Kids' Closets--August 9, 1979 | p. 149 |
| "Not to Worry"--July 15, 1984 | p. 150 |
| My Son's Answering Machine--June 22, 1986 | p. 152 |
| Remembering Children's Names and Ages--June 14, 1987 | p. 153 |
| Kids Show Up for Dinner--July 19, 1990 | p. 154 |
| Parent-Child Bonding--January 13, 1991 | p. 155 |
| When Grown Kids Come to Visit--December 20, 1995 | p. 157 |
| Special People | |
| Grandma and Funerals--November 20, 1968 | p. 159 |
| Love Is a Grandparent--November 3, 1974 | p. 160 |
| The Volunteer--June 24, 1975 | p. 161 |
| Mother Earned Her Wrinkles--February 8, 1976 | p. 163 |
| The Listener--February 26, 1977 | p. 164 |
| Mothers of Disabled Children--May 11, 1980 | p. 165 |
| Heroes--August 2, 1981 | p. 166 |
| Caregivers--November 26, 1991 | p. 167 |
| Mothers Who Have Lost a Child--May 14, 1995 | p. 168 |
| Wish You Were Here (Instead of Me) | |
| Help Thy Neighbor--August 25, 1968 | p. 170 |
| Men Never Ask Directions--August 24, 1969 | p. 171 |
| The Last Family Vacation--June 1972 | p. 172 |
| Parking the Family Trailer--June 1972 | p. 173 |
| Showing Slides of Vacation--February 26, 1974 | p. 175 |
| Continental Breakfast--August 17, 1975 | p. 176 |
| Elusive Rest Area--July 11, 1976 | p. 177 |
| Seeing America by Headlights--September 16, 1980 | p. 178 |
| Eleven-Piece Vacation Wardrobe--July 21, 1981 | p. 180 |
| Traveling with Tripod--July 27, 1982 | p. 181 |
| Alaska Cruise and Smoked Salmon--April 21, 1987 | p. 182 |
| The Holidays | |
| Children of Christmas--December 25, 1969 | p. 184 |
| Kids Are Sick ... It Must Be Christmas--December 18, 1970 | p. 185 |
| Family Christmas Newsletter--December 9, 1971 | p. 186 |
| Christmas Chimes--December 23, 1976 | p. 187 |
| Son Home for the Holidays?--January 2, 1977 | p. 189 |
| Halloween Challenges "No Talent" Mother--October 30, 1979 | p. 190 |
| Grandfather's Solitude--December 25, 1979 | p. 191 |
| No One Diets on Thanksgiving--November 26, 1981 | p. 192 |
| "Love Is" List for a Gusto Husband--February 14, 1982 | p. 193 |
| Thanksgiving and Families--November 25, 1982 | p. 194 |
| Memory Tree--December 22, 1983 | p. 195 |
| Christmas Newsletter Winner--December 12, 1985 | p. 197 |
| Undecorating the Christmas Tree--January 1, 1987 | p. 198 |
| "Equal" Christmas Gifts--December 22, 1994 | p. 199 |
| The Gang's All Here | |
| Entertaining--November 18, 1965 | p. 201 |
| Mouse in the Pump Organ--January 13, 1971 | p. 202 |
| My Husband Builds a Fire--December 1971 | p. 203 |
| "Come Casual"--April 1975 | p. 205 |
| Party Hostess Loneliest Person in the World--September 1975 | p. 206 |
| College Reunion--November 3, 1977 | p. 207 |
| Trip to the Rest Room--October 25, 1979 | p. 208 |
| Pepper Mill Experience--December 18, 1983 | p. 209 |
| Grandma's Grudges--May 1, 1984 | p. 210 |
| Houseguests--August 6, 1985 | p. 211 |
| Restaurant Conversation--October 20, 1985 | p. 213 |
| Hors d'Oeuvres--December 5, 1985 | p. 214 |
| Family Goodbyes--July 28, 1994 | p. 215 |
| Planning Birthday Celebrations--November 8, 1994 | p. 217 |
| Of Missing Socks, Promiscuous Hangers and Other Unexplained Phenomena | |
| Socks Lost in Washer--May 28, 1969 | p. 219 |
| Girdles--May 18, 1970 | p. 220 |
| Creeping Underwear--December 1972 | p. 222 |
| Socks Still Lost in Washer--April 1, 1973 | p. 223 |
| Pantskirt in the Rest Room--September 1973 | p. 224 |
| Coat Hangers--September 18, 1984 | p. 225 |
| No Luck with Pantyhose--November 10, 1985 | p. 226 |
| Crockpot Sock--March 20, 1990 | p. 228 |
| The Restless Car--October 1, 1995 | p. 229 |
| The Catchall Drawer | |
| Talent--June 6, 1966 | p. 231 |
| Even Charity Has Its Bounds--January 2, 1967 | p. 232 |
| Time--November 17, 1971 | p. 233 |
| Women Are Financial Giants--February 19, 1980 | p. 235 |
| Junk Drawers--January 17, 1984 | p. 236 |
| Box Savers--December 20, 1984 | p. 237 |
| I'm-Not-Going Syndrome--October 28, 1986 | p. 238 |
| Fashion Trends Pioneer--October 11, 1987 | p. 240 |
| Shoulder Pads--December 1, 1988 | p. 241 |
| Comfortable Shoes--September 14, 1989 | p. 242 |
| Seize the Moment--June 25, 1991 | p. 243 |
| Brain Capacity Is Limited--July 4, 1993 | p. 245 |
| Let's Face It, Not All Ruts Need Repair--April 17, 1996 | p. 246 |
| Tributes | p. 248 |
| Table of Contents provided by Syndetics. All Rights Reserved. |
ISBN: 9780836236736
ISBN-10: 0836236734
Published: 1st August 1997
Format: Paperback
Language: English
Number of Pages: 288
Audience: General Adult
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
Dimensions (cm): 22.61 x 14.99 x 2.03
Weight (kg): 0.4
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