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So Lonely : Our Desire for Community  And What Drives Us Apart - Hilde stby

So Lonely

Our Desire for Community And What Drives Us Apart

By: Hilde stby, Matt Bagguley (Translator)

Hardcover | 1 August 2025

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A cerebral, intricate study of loneliness from an acclaimed Scandinavian writer.

Far beyond a personal difficulty, loneliness has grown into a problem that plagues whole societies. Many countries, including the United States, Canada, and the United Kingdom, have gone as far to declare a loneliness epidemic. Loneliness can lead to depression and anxiety, and can even increase your chance of death by 26%. But what defines loneliness, and is it true that we are lonelier now than we have ever been?

As COVID-19 forced entire populations into isolation in 2020, author Hilde stby set out to investigate loneliness in all its forms. To frame this huge, multidisciplinary undertaking, she turned to the Moomin novels by revered Norwegian children's author Tove Jansson. Under the watchful eye of such Jansson creations as the tragically alienated Groke, this fascinating book recounts stby's own struggles with the condition and her many conversations with researchers, artists, and journalists who have looked closely at the myriad faces of loneliness and the ways it can be overcome.

Again and again, she returns to the nightmarish events of the 2011 Utya terrorist attacks, a collective trauma for Norwegian society that stby views as permeated with loneliness, in both its causes and effects. This is a deeply personal and yet universally relevant book about the costs to all when some are pushed out of society. But it is also a book about the incredible capabilities of human beings how resilient we are, and how we survive and find ourselves through our relationships with others.

'Loneliness is one of the most important and difficult topics of our time, and this book is a beautiful meditation on it, taking us from The Moomins to the far right. Inspiring and original.' Johann Hari, New York Times-bestselling author of Lost Connections and Stolen Focus

Praise for Hilde tsby:

'stby's thoroughly researched offering is a joy to read...Curiosity seekers will be enlightened.' Publishers Weekly on The Key to Creativity

'An accessible book, which makes it all the more joyful.' NYLON on Adventures in Memory

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