10 Rules for Talking

A top psychologist's guide to resolving conflict at work, at home and in the public sphere.

Psychologist Dr Tim Harkness has noticed something: sometimes it seems that everyone is shouting, but nobody is listening.

Surely we don't need to learn how to talk. Aren't we all born with an innate talent for communication and connection? And yet, in an age of Brexit and Trump, where social media provides a platform for instantaneous, unfettered opinion, doesn't it sometimes feel that we've lost our ability to move our discussions forward?

In the modern world, as our conversations and tone become ever-more adversarial we can find ourselves alienated from those who don't share precisely our opinion. Climate change, diversity, TimesUp, Twitter spats, two-party political systems - the list of intense debate-generating topics goes on, but resolution often feels further away than ever. And it's not just in the public sphere where we can improve - at home, in our friendships, with our family, at work, we need to find a new way to talk productively.

10 Rules for Talking is a timely guide to help us retrain our brains . Focussing on 'crucial' conversations where opinions vary, emotions are running strong and the stakes are high, Dr Tim's ten rules will help you listen, persuade, respond, adapt and - most importantly - keep the conversation progressing.

Discover how to recognise that conversations and agreement are not as simple as we think, the importance of de-escalation to keep conversations safe, and why we must always respect our opponent, even if we don't always see eye-to-eye.

Welcome to a new way of talking.

About the Author

Tim Harkness is a leading psychologist and sports scientist, with interests ranging from sports data to the rules of public discourse. He developed the 10 Rules for Talking over a lifetime of conversations, having grown up in South Africa during Apartheid and working as a psychologist in private practice. Tim is married with three sons.