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Why Won't You Listen? : The Science of What Kids Really Hear When You Speak (THEY'RE NOT DEFYING YOU) - David A Smith

Why Won't You Listen?

The Science of What Kids Really Hear When You Speak (THEY'RE NOT DEFYING YOU)

By: David A Smith

Paperback | 28 December 2025

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Your four-year-old just looked you straight in the eye while you said "don't touch that." Then touched it. While. Still. Looking. At. You.

Sound familiar?

Here's what's actually happening: They're not defying you. They literally cannot hear the "don't" part yet. Their brain processes "TOUCH THAT" before the negation even registers.

This isn't defiance. It isn't bad parenting. It's neuroscience nobody ever told you about.

WHAT IF THE PROBLEM ISN'T YOUR CHILD-IT'S HOW THEIR BRAIN WORKS?

Children aren't ignoring you-they genuinely can't process what you're saying the way you think they can. Their developing brains work on completely different patterns than adult brains, and once you understand these patterns, everything changes.

INSIDE THIS BOOK, YOU'LL DISCOVER:

Why "don't run" makes them run faster-and the exact words that actually work

Why they sit perfectly at home but melt down at restaurants-and the simple adjustment that prevents it

Why they lose it over the "wrong" cup at bedtime-and how to handle it without the drama

What "be good" actually sounds like to a child's brain (spoiler: it means nothing)

The biological reason they can't "just listen"-and what to do instead

Age-specific strategies that work immediately-because 3-year-old brains and 7-year-old brains need different approaches

THIS ISN'T ANOTHER DISCIPLINE MANUAL

You won't find timeout charts or reward systems here. Instead, you'll understand why your words aren't landing-and learn communication techniques that align with how young brains actually process information. When you speak their brain's language, they don't need to be "made" to listen. They finally can.

PERFECT FOR:

Exhausted parents who've tried everything

Teachers dealing with kids who "never listen"

Grandparents whose old tricks suddenly stopped working

Therapists and counselors working with "difficult" children

Anyone who talks to kids and wants to actually be heard

THE SHIFT YOU'LL FEEL:

That moment when your child "ignores" you? It will move from frustration to understanding. Once you know what's happening in their developing brain, you'll stop taking it personally-and start communicating in ways they can actually receive.

Your child doesn't need to change. Your approach does.

Stop wondering "Why won't you listen?" Start understanding how they actually hear you.

Includes practical exercises, real-world examples, and age-specific strategies you can use today.

Industry Reviews

"Smith has created a book that bridges academic credibility with practical, immediately applicable insights." - Mark Lichte, PhD, Educational Administration, University of Wisconsin

"The concept of 'building bridges' is perhaps the book's most valuable tool." - Kaytee Pokrzywinski, PhD, Scientist

"His 'Event Chain Strategy' is particularly effective for preschool-aged children who struggle with transitions." - Lisa Rothberg, MBA, Substitute Teacher, Former Camp Director

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