Why I Run

Why I Run is my story of fighting depression. Read about this unique experience from someone who experienced it firsthand, as this book has not been written by a doctor or a therapist. My story is honest, bold, and most of all truthful. This book runs walks you through the thoughts and feelings of a depressed man who has beaten himself up for most of his life. It takes you to the edge of where the darkest thoughts and actions are to times of true depression and heartbreaking desperation. From there it shows how hard it can be to ask for help and to actually accept this help by going to therapy for the first time and confronting my worst fears. I ask tough real life questions and learn to answer them over time with hard work. This book is all about change and the struggle to embrace new ways of thinking while being open about what depression really is. The narrative moves through different types of therapy and reveals how at first I was so reluctant to do the things I was being taught. Read about how I rebuilt my life from the bottom up by healing old traumas with new therapies (EMDR). Witness the highs and the lows of fighting every day as I learn that depression can only be beaten with self love and practice and then more practice. Understand that feeling good for a depressed man or woman can feel bad at first but then become natural over time. The story moves from the deepest depths of depression to the most incredible highs from learning to fight and embrace the new tools I am given. Follow my journey from wanting to disappear and kill myself to practicing yoga, running, and meditation and loving who I am. Listen to why I stop playing music altogether to learn to play for myself for the first time. Witness how I ultimately overcome anxiety, beat guilt, and attack the building blocks of depression by looking it in the eye, fighting, and winning in the end. I have written this book in the hopes of killing the stigma attached to depression and opening up conversations that have never been opened before. For people who suffer every day in silence I offer hope that they can live a full life one day with hard work. For those of you who have friends and family members who suffer from depression, I would like to help you understand what depression really is.