Trying

Everyone loves a story about people who beat the odds. But what about those who didn't?

In the years she spent hoping to conceive a child with her husband, Chloé Caldwell consumed everything she could find on infertility. No matter the book or reddit forum, her experiences seemed absent amid stories of IVF and miracle babies.

Bouncing between her job at a boutique selling 'life-changing pants' and the fertility clinic offering 'innovative ways to create your family', Caldwell ignored the sense that something else in her life was wrong – until she extracted a confession from her husband.

In this candid and intimate memoir, Caldwell confronts the irresolution and uncertainty of those denied their deepest desire to become a mother and discovers how, even in the depths of grief, new pleasures and possibilities can be found.

What begins as an account of trying to create life becomes a bold and brave journey to rebuild one's own. At once hilarious and heartbreaking, Trying reveals how, even when life blows up, sometimes it's only the beginning.

'The queen of irreverence and confessionalism Chloé Caldwell... gives readers a wide-eyed look at her life in a time of great uncertainty. With tenderness, humility, curiosity and familiarity that readers have come to expect from Caldwell, her latest memoir is a touching and liberating look into identity, fertility and becoming' – Felicia Reich, Paste Magazine

'Caldwell's compact and wide-ranging musings are wry surprising and fresh' – Amy Fusselman, author of The Means

'In Trying, Caldwell shows – in the most hilarious, heartbreaking ways – how our culture drives women batshit crazy and then pretends this insanity is healthy adulthood. What a relief to watch a woman become truly sane: wild, free, spontaneous, slutty, unapologetic, fully alive' – Hannah Tennant-Moore, author of Wreck and Order

'When I finished reading the book, I began it again. I found pleasure in the limbo, in the between. I wanted to be in Caldwell's language forever' – LA Warman

'A fearless ode to unrequited desire' – Steve Almond, author of Truth is the Arrow, Mercy is the Bow

'An intimate, engaging memoir' – Kirkus Reviews

About the Author

Chloé Caldwell is the author of Women (Fourth Estate reissue, 2024), the memoir The Red Zone (Soft Skull, 2022), and the essay collections I'll Tell You in Person (Emily Books/Coffee House Press, 2016) and Legs Get Led Astray (Short Flight/Long Drive reissue, 2017). Her essays have appeared in the New York Times, Bon Appétit, the Cut, Autostraddle, Longreads, and Nylon.