the long cloud

i had been a male model since i moved to london and initially i was making lots of money and then suddenly i wasn't making any.

Xander is ageing out. A former high school jock turned model, he's spent a decade in London riding a carousel of validation and success. Now the ride is slowing down.

When his much-more-successful actor girlfriend, Tessa K, buys him a plane ticket home to New Zealand for the first time in ten years, Xander returns as a stranger. The family farm is for sale. His mother is overbearing. His high school ex wants to reconnect. And his life is unravelling.

Then he meets someone younger, someone vibrant and unburdened, who makes him fall back in love with the small town he fled. But is she the cure for his problems or just another symptom of how empty his life has become?

In the long cloud, newcomer Hector MacKenzie captures the anxious rhythm of life in the 20s - a tender, often funny meditation on masculinity, beauty, and mortality that proves you might be able to go home, but you can never truly go back.


'A timely, timeless book about leaving and returning, failure and success, ambivalence and disappearance, things and people left behind. It's funny, snarky, touching, and profound.'
-Chris Kraus, author of I Love Dick

'Swinging between the everyday absurdity of anxious fantasy and the tragedy of failed relationships, the long cloud is at once a parody of masculinity and an elegy for the freedoms and possibilities of youth.'
-Megan Cheong, Books+Publishing

'A novel about coming home after a long time away and feeling like you've time travelled. It's about slipping into the pleasant haze of the past. It's about the sickly sweet feeling of nostalgia and how quickly it curdles into something ugly and desperate ... In Xander, Hector Mackenzie captures the frenzies of youth and the ruins it can leave behind, delivering a man whose tragedy is no less gripping for being entirely self-inflicted.'
-Joe Murray, Readings