From childhood to adult status. We all engage in both temporary and long-term meaningful and meaningless relationships. These encounters build character and knowledge you cannot obtain from reading a novel. One such novel title should read, 'How to Date After a Divorce.'
This journey turned out to be more difficult than I expected.
Finding a significant and compatible partner was, nonetheless, an uphill battle, filled with, emotional highs and lows. The expensive rollercoaster ride with way too many curves to throw you off track in an instant. My experience with dating proved to be a learning experience more than the goal to find the perfect relationship.
I have embraced love, unloved, hated, cursed, hit, kicked, and left for another lover several times with, one dating experience so terrible, I was held captive inside her house, unable to leave without police protection.
With that said, I have embraced love but never felt I was "IN LOVE" with anyone for any length of time.
With each romance I felt comfortable, only to have that comfort eventually tarnished. Easy as I am on the eyes, a taller man than most with a physique and stature that seemed irresistible to pass up. I have continued to exercise at home or at the gym to stay physically fit. Thus, I was a target for the traits of a person with personality disorder. I have a charming southern personality and intellectual capacity to converse with anyone on a level of topics brought up in conversations.
Life has been good so far. The only exception is when I became so distraught with depression from my last relationship, I nearly took my life.
I am now 69 years old, with a determination to educate myself how evil people use manipulation to access, captivate and gain total control over others. How a narcissist chooses you for their personnel gain. Playing a devious game with your emotions only to discard you like a used dishrag.
You are their source to perform multiple tasks and favors you have the skill to perform. Spend your money like it was theirs to begin with, while they never care for you in the first place. They have a plan already set in motion, and you are the expendable source needed to enrich their goals.
I realized I had been systematically engaged in manipulation tactics, I never imagined possible from a woman I deeply loved. I was the source for a professional narcissist.
I needed answers to critical issues lingering in my head from the first woman I thought I loved in high school in 1973 to the one person I trusted to be my soulmate for life.
I found the answers to my experiences with the women I have written about in this book. Extensive research into personality disorders provided clarity in understanding what happened and how it happened as it eventually provided acceptance of the evil acts they inflicted on me. The closure needed to move one with my life.
The complexity of the research could not have been, absorbed, or understood completely without the help of a professional therapist who I will call "Lisa."
