Solar Wars

Solar Wars: Mission Accomplished-ish

They're not the best crew in the galaxy... just the loudest.

Meet the crew of the S.S. Delusion-a ship held together by duct tape, bad decisions, and one very overworked AI. They weren't assigned this mission. They weren't even supposed to be in space. But when a top-secret galactic transmission arrives at the wrong inbox, they do the only logical thing: accept it.

Why? Free snacks.

Captain Slade speaks only in dramatic pauses and vague gestures. SgtSquishyPants barks orders no one follows, from a clipboard that contains nothing useful. Amazingdizzo tracks near-death experiences like sports stats. Yellowsnow, the team's cursed optimist, somehow builds a sentient cake son during a repair. And Brenda, the ship's AI, has reached peak sarcasm and existential dread.

What begins as a not-at-all-authorized mission spirals into full-scale clone rebellions, diplomatic breakdowns (including one accidental engagement), a file war on Bureaucratia Prime, and a frosting-based planetary uprising. Oh-and the toilet opens into deep space now. Don't ask.

This is not a story of brave heroes saving the galaxy.

This is a story of four cosmic screw-ups who trip over the galaxy's problems and accidentally save it anyway.