Practicing Right Relationship

Why is it that some pastors flourish wherever they go, while others with superior theological and practical training continually fail? Why do some insignificant events end up touching people in significant ways? Why do people leave churches with vibrant and exciting programs while others remain loyal to churches that seem to have very little to offer? What makes the difference?

In a book that is both profound and practical, Mary Sellon and Daniel Smith make the case that the health of churches and synagogues depends on congregations learning how to live out love in "right relationships."

The authors found that the effectiveness of a congregation, as well as the participants' sense of fulfillment and commitment, varied according to the quality of their relationships with each other.

"Pastors who possessed strong relational skills and worked at establishing healthy relationships thrived almost anywhere they went," write Sellon and Smith. "Pastors less adept at relationships continually struggled even though they engaged in the same best practices as their colleagues."

The quality of relationships seemed to be the key. Leadership is not a matter of using certain skills and implementing particular practices, nor it about being right. Leadership is a relationship.

Sellon and Smith bring together the wisdom they gained in their work with dozens of pastors and congregations with the findings of prominent researchers on emotional intelligence and relationship dynamics to show the practices that are central to building relational leadership.