Sometimes when the worst transpires in our relationships. We pretend everything is okay. But it is rarely not. I, for one, had a tough time understanding why everything happened to me. I mean all the effort that I put into the relationship, and then it just failed. I couldn't help except that, because I tried so very hard and as soon as I got past the winning line. Everything just broke apart piece by piece. So, I needed to understand the dynamics of what happened, so I don't make another mess like this. I mean, it was indeed a horrific time for me. Because those words that meant so much to me, once. 'I love you,' now seem to bring sorrow within. Especially when somebody you love reiterates those words with "I don't love you anymore.' And your life partner who was supposed to stay with you forever, seem to have other agendas. I still remember those giggles of yesterday. Sometimes they even make me laugh. I mean, what I couldn't understand is that people in relationships tend to have arguments and disputes. But each time we seem to have any debate or discussion, it seemed like the finale of our relationship. I was brought to my knees and made to lose arguments; otherwise, my partner would leave me. So, I needed to understand why I acted the way I did. And how my partner obtains this kind of control over me. Sometimes when we are in love, we can't overlook small infringement of controlling behaviour. Sometimes we give in and don't realize that we are creating a big issue down the road. I remember I use to give in quite a lot to please her. From which my partner got used to getting her way. Anyway.I was looking back at other relationships, which also did not work. I have ascertained that some issues are surrounding my understanding of what is needed in a relationship. So, I needed to take myself apart piece by piece until I realized what made me tick.To my surprise, there were many different areas which were identified where things did not add up. So, I made a list of what was bothering me. And I started to work on every piece of me so I couldn't understand why I was behaving the way I was. More importantly, what my fault was for my partner to betray my trust. It has taken a long while to get this far. I have had more pain than I can bear in my life. I bought myself to the brink of suicide. I couldn't see myself living without her. She was a big part of my life. And every morning I would wake up to a panic attack, instead of a warm cuddle. It is those small gestures that hurt the most in the end. I have compiled my research into the phenomena of 'myself' and what I came across. I believe sometimes people learn from someone else who is going through a similar situation. So, I thought to write everything down because this, too, is a healing in itself. But as I was writing the way, I realized that this information could help somebody else. For that reason, I am publishing my findings and how I overcame the most significant pain in my heart in my entire life.I hope this book finds its way to people who need to heal. Especially those people that need to understand why their partner has left. Sometimes it is those small liberties that we take for granted. Which, in the end, tills up, into a massive emotional debit which we overlook? And ultimately, this pays the way for the separation of a relationship.
