| Introduction | p. 1 |
| What Did I Ever See in My Ex? | p. 5 |
| Sharing Custody with a Jerk | |
| Life's Most Important Job | |
| The Scope of This Book | |
| Keeping It in Perspective | |
| Driving Backward | |
| If It Walks like a Jerk... | |
| Respect: A Casualty of Divorce | |
| Your History Plays a Part | |
| What's Done Is Still Happening | |
| Ted's Time Bomb | |
| Renegotiating Your Relationship | |
| Ending Self-Destructive Self-Talk | |
| Post-Crisis Goals | |
| When "I Do" Turns into "I Don't Have to Anymore" | |
| Identifying the Problem (Other Than Your Ex Is a Jerk) | p. 29 |
| It's Always Something | |
| Dealing with Denial | |
| Separating the Feelings from the Problems | |
| The Bigger Picture | |
| The Think-Feel-Do Cycle | |
| Changing Your Actions | |
| What exactly is the Problem Here? | |
| To Solve or Not to Solve | |
| Isolating the Problem | |
| Accepting Tolerable Situations | |
| Who Tops the Problem Pyramid? | p. 49 |
| Responsibility | |
| Contributing to the Solution | |
| Justifying Your Actions | |
| Making Assumptions | |
| Engaging in Deliberate Manipulation | |
| Projecting the Worst | |
| Placing Blame | |
| Allowing Guilt | |
| Claiming Power | |
| The Flip Side of the Coin: Taking Too Much Responsibility | |
| The Problem Pyramid | |
| Common Problems and Identifying Who Tops Them | |
| When You Top the Problem Pyramid | p. 69 |
| I Pick Your Battles | |
| Create a Plan of Action | |
| Decide When and Where to Speak to Your Ex | |
| Find a Neutral Territory | |
| Reframe Your Relationship: This Isn't War, its Business | |
| Know What You Want from Your Ex | |
| Use "I" Statements to Communicate | |
| Why "I" Statements Are Effective | |
| Tone of Voice and Body Language | |
| Positive Assertions Disarm Your Opponent | |
| Positive Versus Negative Assertions | |
| Inter-gender Communication | |
| Eliminate "Always" and "Never" | |
| Make Your Communication Effective | |
| Practice Makes Perfect | |
| When the "I" Statement Meets Resistance | |
| When Your Ex Doesn't Give a $@#% How You Feel | |
| Save the Sarcasm | |
| Disengaging | |
| Setting Yourself Up for Success | |
| Tagging Positive Assertions with a Choice | |
| Meaning What You Say | |
| Brainstorming Solutions to Your Problems | |
| Avoiding All-or-Nothing Traps | |
| Taking It Slowly | |
| Asking Questions | |
| Role-Play: Doing Your Homework | |
| Summing It Up | |
| Problems That You Need to Solve | p. 101 |
| Working Through the Problems | |
| My Ex Can Do No Wrong | |
| Changing Plans | |
| In Your Face on Facebook | |
| Blockbuster Bust | |
| Party Time | |
| Visitation Via Skype | |
| You've Got Mail! | |
| A Recap | |
| Learning to Cooperate with Your Ex | p. 123 |
| Working at Change | |
| The Fight-or-Flight Response | |
| Deep Breathing: A Technique That Calms | |
| Shifting Your Mind-Set | |
| Getting What We Give | |
| Listening to Understand | |
| Finding Agreement | |
| Pulling Instead of Pushing | |
| Avoiding Communication Blocks | |
| The Box Step of Cooperative Communication | |
| Catch 'Em Doing It Right | |
| If You Lose It Completely, Apologize | |
| Giving Yourself Permission to Compromise | |
| When Your Child Tops the Problem Pyramid | p. 145 |
| Protecting Your Children | |
| Overprotecting them | |
| Listening Neutrally to Your Child | |
| Refraining from Acting on Your Own Feelings | |
| Listening with Heart | |
| Cracking the Kids' Code | |
| Acknowledging | |
| Brainstorming with Kids | |
| Giving Advice Carefully | |
| Wondering What Would Happen If... | |
| Handling Negativity | |
| Examining Consequences | |
| Letting It Rest | |
| Allowing Your Child to Have a Relationship with the Other Parent | |
| Handling Aftershocks Ahead of Time | |
| Handling Manipulation | |
| When Your Child's Problem Is with You | |
| The Pre-verbal Child | |
| Onions in the Tuna | |
| What to Do When Your Child Tops the Problem Pyramid | |
| Staying Out of It | |
| Empowering Your Child | p. 183 |
| Empowerment = Self-Esteem | |
| A Word about Discipline | |
| Unconditional Love | |
| Human Being Versus Human Doing | |
| Listening to Your Child | |
| Showing Confidence | |
| Letting Go of Ideals | |
| Watching Out for "But" | |
| Separating Compliments from Requests | |
| Separating Behavior from Love | |
| Not Validating the "Monsters" | |
| Shifting the Focus | |
| Being a Role Model | |
| When your Ex Tops the Problem Pyramid | p. 201 |
| How to Communicate When the Problem Belongs to Your Ex | |
| Taking Your Time | |
| Recognizing Bullying Techniques | |
| Remaining Non-Defensive | |
| Handing the Problem Back | |
| Agreeing with Content | |
| Click! The Ex Who Avoids | |
| Claiming the Top of the Pyramid | |
| Needing Legal or Professional Help | |
| When Your Ex's "Other" Tops the Problem Pyramid | |
| The Role of the Stepparent | |
| Communicating in Our Digital World | p. 225 |
| Can You Hear Me Now? | |
| Communicating Digitally | |
| Texting Temptation | |
| I See You | |
| Email Equals | |
| He's Got Mail | |
| Face It | |
| A Communication Disaster | |
| Play It Again, Sam | |
| I Just Called to Say I Don't Love You | |
| No Hype with Skype | |
| Pick a Date | |
| Divorced Homes Are Different (Sometimes) | p. 241 |
| Your Family Is Unique | |
| And Sometimes Divorced Homes Aren't So Different After All | |
| Money Issues Go Both Ways | |
| Different Parenting Styles | |
| Creating a Different Structure | |
| Seventeen Guidelines toward a Successful Foundation | |
| Your Child's Needs and Rights | |
| Living (and Dating) on the Bright Side | p. 275 |
| Healing After Divorce | |
| Moving forward | |
| Table of Contents provided by Ingram. All Rights Reserved. |
