Half Wild

a new day
a crossbill calls
another bird replies, not a crossbill
the first bird takes over again
and again
the crossbill-
shit, it's morning
i've been asleep
it's morning, very early
shit, shit, shit
don't panic
need to wake up need to wake up
can't believe i've been asl-
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SHIT!
the noise is here. HERE!
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that level of noise means, oh shit, someone with a mobile is close. very close. shit, i can't believe i've been asleep with Hunters on my tail. and her. the fast one. she was close last night.
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THINK! THINK!
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it's a mobile phone, for sure it's a mobile phone. the noise is in my head, not in my ears, it's to the upper right side, inside, constant, like an electrical interference, pure hiss, mobile hiss, loud, three or four meters away loud. SHIT! THINK! THINK!
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ok right, lots of people have mobiles. if it's a Hunter, that Hunter, and she could see me, i'd be dead by now.
i'm not dead
she can't see me
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the noise isn't getting louder. she's not moving closer. but she's not moving away either.
am i hidden?
i'm lying on my side, face pressed into the ground. totally still. can't see anything but earth.
got to move a little.
but not yet. think first. stay calm and work it out.
there's no breeze, no sun, just a lightness. it's early. the sun has to be behind the mountain still. there's the smell of earth, the pine of the forest. the ground is cool, dry, no dew. there's the smell of the forest and . . . there's another smell.
what is that smell?
and there's a taste.
a bad taste. it tastes like . . . oh no-
don't think about it
don't think about it
don't think about it
don't think about it
think about something else
think about where you are

You're lying on the ground, in the early morning and the air is cool. You're cold. You're cold because . . . oh shit, oh shit . . . you're naked. You're naked and the top half of you is wet. Your chest, your arms . . . your face are wet.
And you move the fingers of your left hand, the tiniest of movements, and they're sticky. Sticking together. As if with drying, sugary juice. But it's not juice.
don't think about it
don't think about it don't think about it don't think about it don't think about it
DoN't THiNk aBOUT IT
THINK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE
THINK ABOUT STAYING ALIVE
You've got to move. The Hunters are close on your tail. That fast one was close. She was very close last night.
what happened last night?
what happened?
remember!
NO.
FORGET THAT. THINK ABOUT STAYING ALIVE
WORK OUT WHAT TO DO

You can look, move your head a fraction to see more. The ground by your face is thick with pine-needles. Brown pine-needles. But the brown isn't from the pine, it's the colour of dried blood. You're left arm is extended. It's streaked in it, dried, brown. But your hand isn't streaked in it, it's thick with it. Sopping. Red
close your eyes
close your eyes
close your eyes

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You need to go. Without thinking or looking or remembering. You need to go. For you're own safety you have to get out of here. You need to get moving. Get away from here. You can find a stream and wash. Wash it all off.
The mobile phone is close, not changing. It won't be coming closer.
You should look, check. Turn your head to the other side. You can do it. Look, check. . .
it looks like a log
Please be a log. Please be a log. Please be a log.
Please.
it's not a log.
it's a shape in black and red, with black boots and with two legs; one straight, one bent. legs dressed in black. black material covering the torso. light-brown hair. her hair. cut short. sopping with blood. her face is turned away.
she's lying as still as a log
still wet
still oozing
not fast any more
the mobile phone is hers
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and as you raise your head you see the wound that is her throat
and it is jagged and bloody and deep and
red