| Introduction | p. xi |
| How Marriage Ends Is How Divorce Begins | p. 1 |
| Common Ways Marriages Fail | p. 1 |
| Making a Working Marriage | p. 3 |
| How Marriage Can Fall Apart | p. 6 |
| How Divorce Decisions Vary | p. 11 |
| Premature Divorce | p. 15 |
| Constructing a Working Divorce | p. 17 |
| Divorce Is Family Change | p. 19 |
| The Nature of Change | p. 19 |
| The Challenge of Change: Managing Transition | p. 21 |
| Letting Go | p. 23 |
| Moving On | p. 26 |
| Clarifying the Demands of Change | p. 29 |
| Divorce Is Not a Single Change | p. 29 |
| Recognizing Two Kinds of Change | p. 32 |
| Specifying Changes with Your Child | p. 35 |
| Helping Children Cope with Pain | p. 37 |
| Helping Children Gain Resilience | p. 44 |
| The Process of Divorce | p. 47 |
| Accepting Divorce | p. 47 |
| A Highly Contested Divorce | p. 48 |
| Divorce Role and Recovery | p. 51 |
| The Breakup of a "Good" Marriage | p. 53 |
| What Works in a Working Divorce | p. 55 |
| Getting Communication in Working Order | p. 59 |
| Sharing the Data | p. 59 |
| Speaking Up | p. 63 |
| The Perils of Shutting Up | p. 66 |
| Breaking the News about Divorce | p. 68 |
| The Child's Emotional Response | p. 72 |
| Childhood and Divorce | p. 77 |
| The Child's Age Matters | p. 77 |
| Coping with the Fears Created by Loss | p. 79 |
| Signs of Trouble | p. 83 |
| "I Hate You!" | p. 86 |
| Suicidal Statements | p. 88 |
| Adolescence and Divorce | p. 91 |
| A New Challenge | p. 91 |
| How to Tell When Adolescence Has Begun | p. 92 |
| Adolescence Defined | p. 94 |
| How Divorce Affects Adolescence | p. 99 |
| Holding the Adolescent Responsible for Behavior | p. 101 |
| Divorce and Stages of Adolescence | p. 105 |
| Four Stages of Adolescence | p. 105 |
| Early Adolescence | p. 106 |
| Mid Adolescence | p. 111 |
| Late Adolescence | p. 114 |
| Trial Independence | p. 117 |
| The Only Child and Divorce | p. 121 |
| The Two-Parent/Only-Child Family | p. 121 |
| When the Parental Marriage Splits Apart | p. 123 |
| Discomfort with Conflict | p. 126 |
| Keep the Child out of Parental Conflict | p. 127 |
| Avoid Making It Worse | p. 128 |
| Parental Guilt | p. 129 |
| Establishing the Single-Parent Family | p. 131 |
| Detaching from the Ex-Spouse | p. 131 |
| Separation, Not Rejection | p. 133 |
| Creating Stakeholders in the New Family | p. 135 |
| Coping with Sibling Conflict | p. 137 |
| Managing Television | p. 140 |
| Establishing Discipline | p. 143 |
| How Divorce Changes Discipline | p. 143 |
| Inconsistency of Rules and Values | p. 145 |
| The Power of the Positive | p. 146 |
| Teaching Two-Step Thinking | p. 150 |
| Establishing Authority | p. 152 |
| Strategies for Discipline | p. 157 |
| The Principle of Consent | p. 157 |
| Guidance: Good Parents Don't Shut Up | p. 159 |
| Supervision: Good Parents Don't Give Up | p. 160 |
| Structure: Good Parents Don't Back Off | p. 163 |
| Exchange Points: Good Parents Don't Do All the Giving | p. 165 |
| Stress and the Single Parent | p. 167 |
| Understanding Stress | p. 167 |
| Moderating Start-Up Demands | p. 171 |
| Limiting Stress | p. 174 |
| The Importance of Self-Maintenance | p. 176 |
| Maintenance and Change | p. 178 |
| Change at the Expense of Maintenance Means Stress | p. 179 |
| The Importance of Support | p. 181 |
| Don't Go It Alone | p. 181 |
| Self-Respect for the Single-Parent Role | p. 184 |
| Support from Friends | p. 187 |
| The Costs of Giving Support | p. 188 |
| Support from Children | p. 190 |
| Keeping Emotional Support Within Healthy Limits | p. 191 |
| Managing Education | p. 193 |
| Keeping Performance in Perspective | p. 193 |
| Keeping Family Safe for Learning | p. 196 |
| Social Cruelty at School | p. 199 |
| The Early Adolescent Achievement Drop | p. 204 |
| The Solution to the Achievement Drop | p. 206 |
| Sex-Role Influence of the Single Parent | p. 209 |
| Origin of the Parent/Child Relationship | p. 209 |
| Early Influence of Parents | p. 211 |
| Early Influence of Peers | p. 212 |
| Sex-Role Expansion of the Single Parent Role | p. 213 |
| The Problem of the Absent Father | p. 215 |
| Sex-Role Influence Traps to Beware | p. 219 |
| Simple Psychology of Sex-Role Influence | p. 219 |
| Mother and Daughter: Similarity Versus Separation | p. 222 |
| Mother and Son: Distinction Versus Closeness | p. 225 |
| Father and Son: Acceptance Versus Comparison | p. 227 |
| Father and Daughter: Devaluing Versus Affirmation | p. 229 |
| Relationship with One's Ex-Spouse | p. 233 |
| Communicating Effectively | p. 233 |
| Positively Sticking to Specifics | p. 235 |
| Treating Your Ex-Spouse as an Ally | p. 236 |
| Subscribing to the "Articles of Consideration" | p. 237 |
| Four Categories of Differences | p. 238 |
| Managing Differences | p. 240 |
| Resentment of the "Good Time" Parent | p. 243 |
| Taking Hard Stands with the Ex-Spouse | p. 245 |
| Two-Household Family Living | p. 249 |
| Visitation Adjustments for the Child | p. 249 |
| Visitation Adjustments for the Single Parent | p. 253 |
| When Your Child Acts Like Your Ex | p. 255 |
| Adolescence-the Enemy of Visitation | p. 257 |
| Giving Marriage Another Try | p. 261 |
| Dating and the Children | p. 261 |
| Handling an Ex-Spouse's New Relationship | p. 263 |
| Role Conflict in Being a Single Parent | p. 265 |
| Stepfamily Adjustments | p. 268 |
| Common Stepfamily Tensions and Conflicts | p. 272 |
| Helping Step Relationships Work | p. 275 |
| Do's and Don'ts for Stepfamilies | p. 277 |
| Helpful Web Sites | p. 281 |
| Further Reading | p. 282 |
| Helpful Support Groups | p. 283 |
| Index | p. 284 |
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