Certain Destinations Are Inevitable

A memoir about one man's journey through grief after losing his husband.

True was born in 1970, and his mother left home when he was 7. He learned to appreciate frugality and money management while being raised by a single father, which led to him studying business administration in college; he would later start his own accounting business. Despite career success, the author recalls feeling "hollow." At a bar in Vestal, New York, he fell for a man named Chris, someone who "had the kind of smile that made you forget what you were about to say." The relationship with Chris fizzled out, however, leaving the author to reflect that "Chris showed me that I could survive the consequences of misreading love entirely." Then a local man named John entered his life. The two met in a grocery store in a happenstance encounter that would later lead to marriage (well before same-sex marriage was legal in New York). The couple would end up spending some 20 years together. Yet everything came crashing down when John died from pancreatic cancer. The grief-stricken author later moved to Sarasota, Florida, for a new start and, eventually, another attempt at a long-term relationship. All in all, True's extended personal reflection on love and loss moves at a swift, rhythmic pace. Descriptions are succinct and effective: When John and the author adopt a "terrier mix from the shelter" named Monica, the author notes that "she bonded with me instantly and tolerated John with regal condescension." And so readers are easily able to get on board with a tale that offers a plethora of earnest insights ("Grief is exhausting in ways you don't expect" being one). While some points lean toward the obvious, like "Grief is lonely even when you're surrounded by people," all such sentiments have clearly been hard won. In the end the book makes for an intimate journey of renewal and hope.

An endearingly honest, well-written account of what it means to process sorrow and still carry on.

-Kirkus Reviews