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Sober Secure

An Attachment-Based Guide to Dating, Sex, and Love in Recovery

By: Nina Pick

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eText | 11 August 2026

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**An attachment-first path to lasting recovery: build the love, safety, and belonging that keep you sober—and help your relationships thrive

Practical, body-based tools for dating, intimacy, and partnership in sobriety**

Recovery isn't just about staying sober—it's about learning to love and be loved securely. Sober Secure reframes recovery through attachment, giving people in sobriety practical tools to heal early relational wounds, regulate the nervous system, and create the connections that sustain a joyful, durable recovery.

Nina Pick, MA, integrative somatic counselor and author of The Mind-Body Guide to the Twelve Steps, draws on attachment science, polyvagal theory, and somatic therapy—while honoring the strengths of Twelve Step communities. She offers clear language, vivid examples, and step-by-step practices for real life: dating and consent, attuned touch and intimacy, conflict and repair, and long-term partnership—on both Twelve Step and non-Twelve Step paths.

You'll learn to:

Spot your attachment patterns in sobriety and move toward earned secure attachment.
Regulate your nervous system with simple somatic tools that make connection feel safer.
Trade isolating self-reliance for healthy interdependence without losing your agency.
Date with pacing and clarity; navigate sex and consent with care; deepen partnership.
Transform chronic shame and "not enough" beliefs that fuel isolation and relapse risk.

Warm, accessible, and immediately useful, Sober Secure is a loving companion for building the safety, belonging, and embodied presence that let your sobriety—and your life—fully bloom.