Red Dwarf

Before the beginning...

The mining ship Red Dwarf is in orbit around Saturnian moon Titan, and the bulk of the crew is heading down for their shore leave plans: A strangely reluctant hen party; a relaxing cheaty golfing break; a terminally-boring cultural Odessey; a marathon drinking and fighting binge; a stomach-challenging culinary beanfeast and an invigoratingly violent tour of Shore Patrol . . .

Menial chicken soup machine repairmen Dave Lister and Arnold Rimmer have slightly less noble ambitions.
Rimmer is in search of some illicit exam-cheating tech, to land a much-lusted-for promotion, and Lister plans to acquire a cat to smuggle back on board as part of a nefarious scheme to return to Earth. Mainly they just want to get as far away from each other as possible. However, their objectives are scuppered when they receive a cryptic message . . . from the future.

The two feuding crewmen are catapulted into a breakneck race to save not only this, but every other Reality.
Along the way, they'll find themselves united again, for the first time, with some new, but somehow old friends, as they embark on a labyrinthian quest through the seediest, most dangerous underbelly of humankind's furthest outpost, where lurk bizarre off-worldly dangers and one mysterious hidden nemesis with an obscure, yet clearly lethal agenda.

So strap yourself into your Holly Hop Drive, and set your bazookoids to "thrill" - the Dwarfers are taking on TITAN. Read by Chris Barrie and featuring the original Red Dwarf music performed by the composer Howard Goodall.

'Don't tell my mother I died with my arm up a gorilla's bottom.'
'But sir - it will be on the death certificate.'