Ever wondered why your dating life looks like a blooper reel?
Congratulations — you've found the wrong self-help book.
"How to Not Get Laid: A Step-by-Step Guide to Lifelong Singleness" is your ultimate crash course in romantic failure. Packed with useless wisdom, terrible life choices, and one man's (Tim's) complete inability to read a vibe, this parody guide shows you exactly how to repel affection in style.
Inside, you'll learn:
- How to dress like you're hiding from love ?
- How to talk about your crypto losses mid-date ?
- How to ghost people before they message you ?
- How to compare every human to your high school crush ?
- And advanced celibacy techniques used by the masters (and by Tim)
This isn't advice — it's a warning.
If you've ever said "I'm bad at flirting" or turned small talk into emotional arson, this book's your spiritual home.
Equal parts satire, self-help spoof, and cry-for-help-in-paperback-form, it's the only dating book that guarantees results... of the opposite kind.
