Testimonials:
"Committed is a practical manual for anyone seeking to build and maintain a stable relationship. It offers grounded, realistic advice for readers to strengthen their bond with their significant other and get loyalty from the one they love." —Dr. John Gray, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus
"Powerful and timely! Carmen Harra's book, Committed, paves a way for authentic, reciprocal, passionate, and delicious relationships. Committed is your user's guide to manifesting and designing deep heart-based connections through self-love. Dr. Harra gives our mind a reason to accept what our heart already knows—that love is the great healer of life. Within these pages you'll discover the miracle of commitment...an alchemic evolutionary journey for experiencing true love." —Dr. Darren Weissman, bestselling author of The Power of Infinite Love & Gratitude and developer of The LifeLine Technique®
"Harra's deep understanding of human nature and her insight into the seven main love archetypes are vital to readers who want to develop an authentic, impassioned relationship with their significant other." —Iris Benrubi, relationship expert and bestselling author of Lonely and Single to Loved and Adored
"With compassion and precision, Dr. Harra walks the reader through the confusing landscapes and minefields of online dating and real-time relationships. Her conversational style packs a lot of wise guidance on how to identify key relationship issues through understanding seven male archetypes: Independent, Workaholic, Narcissistic, Free Spirit, Hopeless Romantic, and Introvert. An archetype is a universal blueprint to the human personality regardless of nationality, ethnicity, race, religion, or culture. The brilliance in this book is the author's gift for presenting complex psychological models in a user-friendly style. Her techniques for self-awareness and reflection are accessible to any reader. If you are looking for love and confused by mixed messages, ghosting, and other weird cyber behaviors,Committed: Finding Love and Loyalty Through the Seven Archetypes can serve as a roadmap to finding a healthy relationship." —Laurie Nadel, Ph.D. psychotherapist and best- selling author of The Five Gifts: Discovering Hope, Healing and Strength When Disaster Strikes
Excerpt: "What Are Archetypes?"
Throughout history, we've tried to classify people into different groups according to their personalities in an attempt to understand "why they do the things they do." This is the basis for all psychology. Why does one person lie and another tell the truth? Why does one person cheat and another remain faithful? The word archetype comes from the Greek archein, meaning "original," and typos, meaning "pattern." So an archetype is an original pattern. In psychology, it's a pattern of thought present in the human psyche. The theory of archetypes can be well applied to relationships. The ways in which we relate (or don't relate) to another person also emerge from our subconscious. We have witnessed this truth for many years, working as psychologists and intuitive counselors and hearing every type of love scenario imaginable. We've worked with women who desperately desired the emotionally unavailable man, women who sought to escape the overwhelming man, couples that fell out of love then back in love, and men who realized they had been living a lie and actually loved other men. You name it, we've heard it. In listening to tens of thousands of cases over time, something interesting happened: we noticed that the same types of people kept cropping up—people unrelated to each other but displaying almost identical qualities and comportment. As soon as a client started describing the man she was dating, we could almost finish her sentence, because we knew what came next based on the archetype she was describing. We began to comprehend that personality traits descend from archetypes and that a person's very behavior is steered by his higher design. We noted that people come with sets of characteristics, similar to how a person with red hair also has freckles or a person with dark skin usually has dark eyes. For example, someone who is predisposed to introversion is also likely to have issues with communication and trust. We also realized that while we inherit much of our personality, it's not fully formed until we pass through experiences that solidify who we are. No one is born narcissistic or too independent, addicted to his work or to the idea of love, emotionally reserved or wounded. But the likelihood for someone to become introverted will be exacerbated if that person is bullied in school, not shown enough love at home, or rejected by a lover. A few years ago, someone advised Alexandra to write a book for young women on how to recognize Mr. Right from Mr. Wrong. When we talked about this, we realized it's not quite that easy. While it's true that some partners are just plain wrong for us, most human beings are far more complex than we can imagine. Our characters aren't black or white, good or bad; we are a symphony of colors. Our personalities are multidimensional. It is, therefore, not our place to tell you that the archetype you're dating or would like to date is right or wrong for you. We're here to provide insight into what you can expect. The value of the seven archetypes we've identified is that they serve as a predictability chart, laying out all the components of a man's personality. We present each archetype's most critical character traits—innate and learned—that influence his relationships positively and negatively.
"A Closer Look at the Seven Archetypes"
We continued observing the personas we encountered in our practice, particularly in regard to how they handled love relationships. We began taking notes on our clients' backgrounds, experiences, and demeanors and eventually developed seven distinct archetypes: 1. The Independent 2. The Workaholic 3. The Narcissist 4. The Free Spirit 5. The Hopeless Romantic 6. The Wounded Warrior 7. The Introvert Each archetype needs to unlearn something unhealthy or unhelpful, then learn something new and positive, to be in a successful relationship. We don't want to remain confined to the limitations of our archetype, unable to live up to our commitment goals and reneging on our promises. This causes us much suffering and confusion, not to mention a heck of a lot of trouble for our partner! Our goal is to escape the boundaries of one archetype and become as flexible as possible in our lives and our romances, ready to tackle any challenge. The goal isn't to achieve perfection but balance.
What is commitment and why is it so hard to achieve? We've all struggled in love, but if you picked up this book, it means you're ready to end cycles of pain and disappointment and foster a truly fulfilling relationship.
Committed will make you reevaluate the way you think about love. It is a relationship manual that unfolds in two parts: the work you'll need to perform on the inside and the seven distinct archetypes you'll encounter on the outside.
In the first part of Committed, you'll learn how to
reexamine core beliefs you hold about commitment and relinquish harmful assumptions,
clear karmic patterns that were passed down to you and heal emotional trauma from your youth,
liberate yourself from people and places that no longer serve you and habits that hinder your relationship potential, and
develop an unshakable sense of self-worth so that you give love not just to another partner but to the right partner.
The second half of our book will teach you how to
identify your partner's archetype as well as his strengths, weaknesses, mindset, inclinations, and commitment capacity,
determine your own love archetype,
make your partner commit based on the needs, fears, and desires of his archetype,
navigate successfully through the world of online and in-person dating,
build emotional intimacy with your partner,
mediate external influences that come between you, and
apply real-world solutions to resolve any relationship problem.
The goal of Committed is to help you find and keep the love you deserve: an authentic, impassioned relationship that fills you with excitement each morning and puts your mind at ease every night.
