"Your spell has been delayed due to unforeseen circumstances. We apologize for any apocalypse this may cause."
Jack Thorne drives a beat-up van for Arcane Prime, delivering curses, blessings, and supernatural packages across a city where floating monoliths cause traffic jams and "dire omens" are valid PTO requests. He's not a wizard—he's a logistics specialist with an encyclopedic knowledge of metaphysical customs forms and a soul contractually bound to a company that treats magic like any other gig economy nightmare.
His final delivery was supposed to be simple: transport the Spirit of Old Town—a repossessed local deity—to a corporate archive. But when the app glitches, rival couriers attack, and Jack discovers the package is scheduled for deletion by the exhausted programmer who runs reality's source code from her apartment in Nebraska, he realizes he's not just delivering a god. He's trying to prevent a system crash that could take down the entire magical economy.
In a world where spells have surge pricing, exorcisms require customer service tickets, and even immortality comes with a deductible, Jack must navigate corporate bureaucracy, metaphysical regulations, and his own crushing burnout to save a deity that the system was never designed to handle.
Because when magic runs on the same infrastructure as everything else, the scariest words aren't "ancient curse" or "eternal damnation"—they're "unexpected error, please restart."
ARCANE PRIME: Your package has been delayed indefinitely.
