Transforming the Shame Triangle : From Shame to Love Using Parts Work - Jessica Fern

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Transforming the Shame Triangle

From Shame to Love Using Parts Work

By: Jessica Fern, David Cooley

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Paperback | 1 March 2026

At a Glance

Paperback
336 Pages

Dimensions(cm)
20.3 x 13.3 x 2.5

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Trauma, attachment wounds and external criticism can leave us battling a sense of shame and inadequacy that can keep us from thriving personally and in relationships.

In Transforming the Shame Triangle, psychotherapist Jessica Fern and restorative justice facilitator David Cooley use a synthesis of Internal Family Systems and Narrative Process to identify the three parts that they identify as the greatest barriers to achieving the life we want.

The Inner Critic, Shame, and the Escaper are players in an internalised drama triangle, acting as perpetrator, victim and rescuer. Together, they create the Shame Triangle, which can trap us in ineffective survival strategies that prevent us from embracing and expressing our true selves.

Through practical exercises and accessible explanations, readers are guided to shift from a state of self-critique to one of self-support-transforming the Shame Triangle to a love triangle. Using parts work, Fern and Cooley open a path to healing and transformation, building a foundation of authenticity and integrity in self and connections, and ultimately creating a more fulfilling life.

About the Author

Jessica Fern is a psychotherapist, public speaker, and trauma and relationship expert. In her international private practice, Jessica works with individuals, couples and people in multiple-partner relationships who no longer want to be limited by their reactive patterns, cultural conditioning, insecure attachment styles and past traumas, helping them to embody new possibilities in life and love.

David Cooley is a professional restorative justice facilitator, diversity and privilege awareness trainer, and bilingual cultural broker. He is the creator of the Restorative Relationships Conversations model, a process that transforms interpersonal conflict into deeper connection, intimacy and repair. In his private practice, David specialises in working with nonmonogamous and LGBTQ partnerships, incorporating a variety of modalities including trauma-informed care, attachment theory, somatic practices, narrative theory and mindfulness-based techniques.

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