I have been many things, in Britain, Canada, Europe, and elsewhere; and of course my father wanted me to be an accountant. But now in Paris, in Rome, in Florence, in Berlin, in Vienna -- in fact, over half the face of Europe, from the Pyrenees to the Russian frontier -- I am now known as "The Count's Chauffeur." And the count is not just Italian gentry: he is a swindler. And I am his aide-de-camp. . . .