Being undead can be disorienting. Your arms and other appendages tend to rot and fall off. It’s difficult to communicate with a vocabulary limited to moans and gurgles. And that smell! (Yes, it’s you.) But most of all, you must constantly find and ingest human brains. Braaaains!!!
What’s a zombie to do?
Thankfully, zombiologist John Austin details everything you need to know, as a newly undead soul, to hunt, fight, and feed on the living. As the first handbook written specifically for the undead, So Now You’re a Zombie explains how you ended up in this predicament, the stages of zombification, and what you need to survive in this zombiphobic world. Dozens of helpful diagrams outline attack strategies, such as the Ghoul Reach, the Flanking Zack, the Bite Hold, and the Aerial Fall, to secure your human prey. You’ll even learn how to successfully extract the living from boarded up farmhouses and broken down vehicles.
This handbook also explores the upside of being a zombie. Gone are the burdens of employment, taxes, social networks, even basic hygiene, allowing you to focus on simple necessities in life”: the juicy gray matter found in the skulls of the living.
"An excellent choice for the zombie completist." --"Kirkus Reviews"
"Brilliantly tongue-in-cheek. . . . A must for all fans of spoof manuals and zombies alike." --NY Journal of Books.com
"The illustrations are as grossly explicit as the text is employee-handbook underplayed, making this an excellent choice for the zombie completist." --"Publishers Weekly "
"This book is a total blast and a must-have for zombie fans! Grade A." --Mania.com
"An excellent choice for the zombie completist." "Kirkus Reviews""
This book is a total blast and a must-have for zombie fans! Grade A. Mania.com"
The illustrations are as grossly explicit as the text is employee-handbook underplayed, making this an excellent choice for the zombie completist. "Publishers Weekly ""
"Everything a new flesh eater needs to know about surviving in a world where you only want one thing: brains." "--Geek-span.com""
"Brilliantly tongue-in-cheek. . . .A must for all fans of spoof manuals and zombies alike." NY Journal of Books.com"
"Explains everything a newly undead soul needs to hunt, fight and feed on the living." Aolnews.com "
"A parody with brains. . . [the book] is just too funny to pass up." NeoTokyoProject.com"
"Austin's tongue-in-cheek humor perfectly compliments the subject matter." ZombiePhiles.com"