Introduction 1
About This Book 1
Foolish Assumptions 3
Icons Used in This Book 4
Beyond the Book 4
Where to Go from Here 5
Part 1: Getting Ready for Sex 7
Chapter 1: So You Want to Know More about Sex 9
What is Sex, Anyway? 10
So Why Do We Have It? 10
Understanding the Ins and Outs of the Sexual Response Cycle 16
Partnering Up 18
Playing It Safe 20
Adjusting Over Time 20
Are You Ready to Get Busy? 21
Chapter 2: Tuning the Male Organ 23
The Penis: Inside and Out 23
Grasping the Basics of Your Testicles 31
The Prostate Gland 37
Chapter 3: Demystifying the Female Parts 39
Making Time for a Grand Tour 40
Translating All Those Latin Terms 41
The “Men” Words: Menstruation and Menopause 49
Breasts: Hanging in There 55
Chapter 4: Dating 59
Does Anybody Still Date? 60
Where Chemistry and Physics Mingle 60
Giving Romance a Chance to Bloom 61
Overcoming Loneliness and Getting Yourself in Dating Shape 62
A Road Map for the Dating Apps 63
The Thrill of the Chase, the Bummer of Rejection 65
Finding the Right Partner: Difficult, Yes; Impossible, No 67
If You’re North of the 29th Parallel 73
Practical Dating Tips for All Ages 75
Should You Have Sex On a First Date? 76
Chapter 5: Introducing Sex into a Relationship 77
Determining When the Time is Right 79
Safety First 82
Advice for Virgins 84
Advice for Those with Prior Experience 85
Chapter 6: Commitment and Marriage 89
Knowing That Love Isn’t Enough 90
Handling Children and Commitment 90
Putting Your Marriage First 91
Strengthening Your Marriage 91
Chapter 7: It’s All about Control: Contraception and Sex 97
Why Use Contraceptives? 98
Considering Your Birth Control Options 100
Facing Facts about Birth Control Myths 119
If Your Method Fails 122
Chapter 8: Growing Up Fast: The Challenges of the Teen Years 127
Being a Teenager in the 21st Century 128
Evolving into Adulthood 130
Dealing with Common Concerns 131
Protecting Your Privacy 141
Don’t Stop Here 142
Part 2: Doing It 143
Chapter 9: Foreplay: Revving Up Your Engines 145
Foreplay for Life 145
Linking the Emotional to the Physical 146
Setting the Stage 147
Getting Physical 149
Switching Gears: Engaging the Genitals 154
Moving on to the Main Event 159
Variety is the Spice of Foreplay 160
Chapter 10: Intercourse: Coming Together for the First Time 161
What’s the Rush? 162
Making Your First Time Special 163
The First Time for Women 167
The First Time for Men 170
The First Time All Over Again 171
Chapter 11: Changing Positions: Variations on a Theme 173
The Good Old Missionary Position 174
The Female-Superior Position 177
Taking Her from Behind 179
East Side, West Side, Side by Side 183
Lap Dancing 184
The Oceanic Position 185
Standing Up 186
Oral Sex: Using Your Mouth 187
Anal Sex: Handle with Care 188
Safe Sex: Playing Alone Together 189
Sex During and After Pregnancy: Orgasms are Okay, with Changes 189
Chapter 12: Going for the Big O 195
What is an Orgasm, Anyway? 195
Experiencing Orgasms: Differences for Men and Women 196
Achieving Orgasm: Let Me Count the Ways 199
Don’t Try — Let It Come You’ll Be Glad You Did 202
Putting on Your O-Face: Responding to the Orgasmic Experience 203
The Best Reason to Have an Orgasm 204
Chapter 13: Afterplay: Embracing the Moment 205
Understanding the Importance of Afterplay 206
Sharing the Moment 207
The Simplest of Techniques 209
Chapter 14: Spicing Up Your Sex Life 211
Using Variety to Add Some Va Va Va Voom to Your Sex Life 212
Expanding Your Toy Chest 214
What If You’re Just Never in the Mood? 217
Part 3: Different Strokes 219
Chapter 15: Enjoying Oral Sex 221
Overcoming Your Inhibitions 222
Leaving Him Breathless: What Men Like 223
Making Her Toes Curl: What Women Like 225
Dealing with Some Delicate Details 227
Assuming the Position 229
Addressing the Safety Issue 230
Chapter 16: Savoring Solo Play and Fantasy 233
Exploring the Mythology of Masturbation 233
Avoiding Too Much of a Good Thing 235
Masturbation: Good for All Ages 236
Masturbation Education 239
Fantasy: It’s All in Your Head 244
Chapter 17: Keeping Up with Cybersex and Other Hot Stuff 247
Eyes Wide Open: A Word of Caution 247
Cybersex: Sights for Mature Minds 248
Sex and the Telephone: Aural Sex 254
Sex and the Radio: It’s All Talk 255
Sex and Television: A Different Meaning of Boob Tube 256
Pulp Nonfiction 257
Sex with Multiple Partners: Where Do All of These Body Parts Go? 258
Chapter 18: Celebrating Same-Sex Relationships 261
Considering Sexual Identity 261
Determining Your Orientation: What Turns You On 266
Revealing Your Sexual Identity 266
Sexual Practices among Gay Men 271
Sexual Expression between Lesbians 272
Marriage between Same-Sex Partners 274
Chapter 19: Conquering the Challenges of Mature Sex 275
Female Changes: Tackling Menopause 276
Male Changes: Not All the Same 277
A benefit of aging: No more premature ejaculation 280
The Psychological Pluses and Minuses 280
Chapter 20: Thriving Sexually with Illness or Disability 283
We are All Sexual Beings 284
Sex When You’re Physically Disabled 284
Sex After You’ve Had a Heart Attack 288
When Disabilities Arise Later in Life 290
Sex When You Have Diabetes 291
Sex and People Who are Mentally Disabled or Ill 293
Sex and People Who are Living in a Long-Term Care Facility 295
Uncompromising Compromised Sex 296
Part 4: Having a Healthy Sex Life 297
Chapter 21: What You Can Catch and How to Prevent It 299
STDs: Battle Scars No One Wants after a Night of Sex 300
Let’s Get Serious 312
Chapter 22: Erectile Dysfunction and Other Male Sexual Problems 321
Premature Ejaculation 322
Erectile Dysfunction 328
Delayed Ejaculation 338
Priapism — The Case of the Permanent Erection 339
The Bent Penis 339
Lack of Desire 341
Chapter 23: Low Libido and Other Female Sexual Problems 343
That Elusive Orgasm 343
Ouch! It’s Too Tight in There 351
When Cleaning the House Sounds Better Than Having Sex 352
Every Body is Attractive 354
Sex After a Mastectomy 355
Chapter 24: Avoiding Sexual Relationship Pitfalls 357
Making Time for Alone Time 358
Making the Most of a Long-Distance Relationship 361
Dealing with Addictive Behavior: Hooked on Porn 362
Staying Close to Avoid the Empty-Nest Syndrome 364
Making Sex a Priority 365
Chapter 25: Sex and the Law 367
Sex, Children, and the Law 368
Rape: A Growing Concern 372
The Law and Contraception 373
The Law against Spreading Diseases 374
Abortion: A Legal Safeguard 375
The Law and Homosexuality 376
Prostitution: The Case for Legalization 377
Pornography: Erotic or Obscene 378
Adultery: Cheating the Law 380
Chapter 26: Teaching Your Children about Sex and Keeping Them Safe 381
Not Everything is Dangerous 382
Answering Children’s Questions 384
Warning Signs of Possible Sexual Abuse 385
The Accidental Voyeur 386
Protecting Your Children from the Media 387
Protecting Your Kids from Cyberporn 388
Giving the Speech about Strangers 391
Sex Ed and the Older Child 393
Other Messages You Don’t Want to Send 394
Part 5: The Part of Tens 397
Chapter 27: Ten Dumb Things People Believe about Sex 399
If I Haven’t Had Sex by the Time I’m 18, I’m a Loser 399
The More I Score, the More Pleasure I’ll Have 400
The Sex Depicted in Porn is True to Life 401
The Grass is Always Greener in the Neighbors’ Bedroom 401
Sex Will Make Everything All Right 402
A Good Lover Must Be an Open Book 402
I Should Compare Sexual Partners 403
I Can’t Become a Better Lover 403
Lovers Want and Need the Same Things 404
I’m Too Old to Have Sex 404
Chapter 28: Ten Tips for Safer Sex 407
Learn to Say No 407
Limit Your Number of Partners 408
Don’t Rely Solely on Your Instincts 408
Never Dull Your Senses When You’re with Strangers 409
Discuss Safer Sex in Advance 409
Use Condoms 410
Develop a Relationship Before You Have Sex 410
Don’t Engage in Risky Behavior 411
Don’t Forget about the Other STDs 411
Don’t Sell Your Other Options Short 412
Chapter 29: Ten Things Women Wish Men Knew about Sex 413
Chivalry Isn’t Dead Yet 413
Appearances Count 414
You Can’t Hurry Love 414
A Clitoris is Not Just a Small Penis 415
Women Need to Bask in the Afterglow 415
Kinky Sex Isn’t Sexy Sex 416
Wandering Eyes Mean Less Sex 417
Slam-Bam-Thank-You-Ma’am Doesn’t Cut the Mustard 417
Changing Diapers is Sexy 418
Just Because You Can’t Doesn’t Mean You Won’t 418
Chapter 30: Ten Things Men Wish Women Knew about Sex 419
Being Aware of Mixed Signals 419
Lack of Sex Really Can Hurt 420
Sometimes Wasting Electricity is Okay 420
Teamwork is Important 420
Celebrities’ Bodies are Not a Threat 421
A Little Tact, Please 422
If You Really Loved Me, You’d 422
The Way to a Man’s Heart is Not through His Stomach 423
It Might Just Be Sex 423
The Older a Man Gets, the More Help He Needs 424
Chapter 31: Ten Tips for Truly Great Lovers 425
Don’t Make Love on Your First Date 425
Set the Mood as Far in Advance as Possible 426
Find Out What Your Partner Needs 426
Protect Yourself and Your Partner 427
Don’t Fall into a Rut 427
Fix the Potholes of Love 428
Use Your Sense of Touch 428
Become a Great Kisser 429
Satisfy Your Partner Even If You Don’t Feel Like Sex 429
Adjust to Changes Caused by Aging 430
Appendix A: Step Into My Office 431
Appendix B: Terrific Resources 441
Index 445
