
Parenting Your Out-of-Control Teenager : 7 Steps to Reestablish Authority and Reclaim Love
7 Steps to Reestablish Authority and Reclaim Love
By: Scott P. Sells
Paperback | 1 October 2002 | Edition Number 1
At a Glance
368 Pages
20.32 x 13.97 x 3.18
Paperback
$38.99
or 4 interest-free payments of $9.75 with
orShips in 5 to 10 business days
Every teenager rebels against authority at some point--talks back, breaks curfew, or disobeys. But literally millions of teens take their rebellion to a point where it disrupts their families and endangers their own futures or even their lives. If one of these teens is yours, you've probably lived through years of conflicting advice and pat solutions that don't last. Finally, this breakthrough guide from a master therapist will show you the seven steps to positive, permanent change for you and your teenager:
1. Learn the real reasons for teen misbehavior.
2. Make an ironclad contract to stop that behavior.
3. Troubleshoot future problems.
4. End button-pushing.
5. Stop the "seven aces" -- from disrespect to threats of violence.
6. Mobilize outside help.
7. Reclaim lost love within the family.
Clear, compassionate, and packed with real-life solutions to real-life problems, Parenting Your Out-of-Control Teenager gives parents the tools they need to turn their families' lives around for good.
Industry Reviews
"For all parents who want good, immediately applicable ideas that are effective with acting-out teenagers, this is the book for you!" --John Gray, Ph.D., author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus and Children Are from Heaven
"An excellent combination of research and practice-with a difficult population! Good practical ideas that help parents answer hard questions." --Thomas W. Phelan, Ph.D., author of 1-2-3 Magic and Surviving Your Adolescents
"Parents of problematic teens will find Parenting Your Out-of-Control Teenager to be an easy-to-read book filled with practical solutions for difficult problems." --Rex Forehand, Ph.D., author of Parenting the Strong-Willed Child
"A standout among the multitude of parenting books. Dr. Sells has a rare combination of practical experience coupled with an academician's need for researched and effective answers for responding to very difficult teens. For all those parents who want good, immediately applicable ideas that are effective with a severely acting-out adolescent, I can say, without reservations, this is the book for you!" --Foster W. Cline, M.D., author of Parenting with Love and Logic
"Sells' approach is all 'how-to': he provides seven basic steps, backed up with lists of strategies in the 'What do I do if...' mode. These steps will empower parents to regain authority, bring families out of deep trouble, and begin to restore the love parents and teens once held for each other." --Library Journal
"I found Scott Sells' new book to be amazingly helpful. He really does go to exactly those most difficult places where teenagers step over the line, and where there seem to be few effective answers. Dr. Sells gives answers, they are very specific, and they are vry practical - real-world answers for real parents and real teenagers." --Anthony E. Wolf, Ph.D., author of Get Out of My Life, but First Could You Drive Me and Cheryl to the Mall?
| Acknowledgments | p. ix |
| Introduction: Do You Know This Teenager? | p. 1 |
| Understanding Why Your Teen Is Out of Control | p. 11 |
| Top 7 Reasons for Teen Misbehavior | p. 12 |
| Unclear Rules | p. 12 |
| Not Keeping Up with Your Teen's Thinking | p. 13 |
| Button-Pushing | p. 14 |
| Teenager Drunk with Power | p. 15 |
| The Pleasure Principle | p. 16 |
| Peer Power | p. 18 |
| Misuse of Outside Forces | p. 19 |
| A Road Map of Defeat and a New Highway to Success | p. 20 |
| The Left Fork in the Road: "I Will Not Take Charge" p24 | |
| The Right Fork in the Road: "I Will Take Charge" | p. 28 |
| The Third Fork in the Road: Fake It Until You Make It | p. 28 |
| Writing an Ironclad Contract with Clear Rules and Consequences | p. 29 |
| Why Your Current Contracts Fail | p. 32 |
| How to Write a Contract That Works | p. 33 |
| Tackle Only One or Two Problems at a Time | p. 34 |
| Convert Problems into Concrete Rules | p. 37 |
| Create a Well-Written Consequence | p. 39 |
| Use Both Positive and Negative Consequences | p. 46 |
| Put the Written Contract Together | p. 48 |
| Include Your Teenager's Input and Expertise | p. 51 |
| Be Consistent in Following Through | p. 58 |
| Catch Your Teen Doing Something Right | p. 60 |
| Troubleshooting: How to Think Two Steps Ahead of Your Teenager | p. 67 |
| Coming Up with Plan B When Plan A Fails | p. 68 |
| Anticipate What Your Teen Will Do Next | p. 77 |
| Troubleshoot Underlying Family Problems | p. 79 |
| Button Pushing: Why Your Teen Wins Arguments | p. 85 |
| Find Your Parental Buttons | p. 87 |
| Find Your Teenager's Buttons | p. 92 |
| Button-Buster Techniques | p. 98 |
| Stopping Your Teenager's Seven Aces: Disrespect, Truancy, Running Away, Teen Pregnancy, Alcohol or Drug Abuse, Violence, and Suicide Threats | p. 115 |
| Disrespect | p. 122 |
| Clearly Define Disrespect | p. 122 |
| Choose Your Battles Wisely | p. 124 |
| Two Can Play at That Game | p. 127 |
| A Hierarchy of Consequences | p. 129 |
| Lavish Praise and Appreciation | p. 130 |
| Do the Unexpected | p. 132 |
| The Pawn Broker | p. 133 |
| Truancy or Failing Grades | p. 138 |
| Work Collaboratively with the School | p. 140 |
| Positive Praise and Recognition | p. 143 |
| Grounding | p. 146 |
| The Pawn Broker for School Issues | p. 147 |
| Attending School | p. 148 |
| Home Schooling or Switching Schools: A Last Resort | p. 152 |
| Running Away | p. 154 |
| Figure Out Why Your Teen Runs Away | p. 154 |
| Use Your Teen as an Expert | p. 156 |
| The Stealth Bomber Consequences | p. 158 |
| The Gandhi Consequence | p. 166 |
| Teen Pregnancy or Sexual Promiscuity | p. 171 |
| Build Your Teen's Self-Esteem | p. 174 |
| Talk to Your Teen About Sex | p. 179 |
| Closely Monitor Internet Use and Abuse | p. 183 |
| Contractual Contraception | p. 185 |
| Real Teens, Real Stories | p. 187 |
| Alcohol or Drug Abuse | p. 189 |
| Find Out How Often Your Teenager Is Using | p. 192 |
| The Prime Suspect | p. 197 |
| Underage Posters and Shadowing | p. 200 |
| Fines and Misdemeanors | p. 202 |
| Invade Your Teen's Privacy | p. 205 |
| Relapse Is Normal; Prepare for It | p. 208 |
| Spiritual Anchors and Nurturance | p. 209 |
| It Takes a Village to Help a Drug Addict | p. 212 |
| Address Any Underlying Family Issues | p. 214 |
| Threats or Acts of Violence | p. 216 |
| The Nonviolent Town Meeting | p. 228 |
| The Old MacDonald Consequence | p. 232 |
| A Cowritten Antiviolence Contract | p. 234 |
| Monitor Your Teen Closely | p. 236 |
| Accountability and the Police | p. 237 |
| Nurturance: The Antivenin of Violence | p. 238 |
| Threats of Suicide | p. 239 |
| The Risk of Suicide | p. 240 |
| A Twenty-four-hour Watch | p. 241 |
| An Antisuicide Contract | p. 249 |
| There Is Strength in Numbers: How to Mobilize Outside Helpers Like Friends, Neighbors, and Police Officers | p. 252 |
| Know the Playing Field | p. 254 |
| Mobilizing Friends or Neighbors | p. 264 |
| Mobilizing Churches, Synagogues, and Extended Family | p. 266 |
| Getting Help from Child Protective Services (CPS) or the Police | p. 270 |
| Mobilizing Counselors | p. 273 |
| Working with Institutions (Schools, Hospitals, Foster Care, and Probation Officers) | p. 273 |
| Mobilizing Your Teen's Peer Group | p. 276 |
| Reclaiming Love Between You and Your Teenager | p. 285 |
| The Fine Line Between Love and Hate | p. 287 |
| Timing Is Everything | p. 292 |
| Emotional Warm-ups | p. 294 |
| Five Toxic Behaviors That Poison Your Relationship with Your Teen | p. 297 |
| Six Strategies to Reclaim Love Between You and Your Teenager | p. 300 |
| Special Outings | p. 301 |
| Accept Underlying Feelings | p. 307 |
| The Power of Hugs | p. 313 |
| Be the First to Restore Good Feelings | p. 318 |
| Give Your Teen Opportunities to Regain Trust | p. 319 |
| Creating Soft Talk | p. 324 |
| The Next Step What to Do If These Steps Fail or You Experience Special Circumstances: Single Parenthood, Divorce, Stepfamily, or Teen Emotional Problems | p. 328 |
| Get Support on the Internet and in Your Own Town | p. 329 |
| Understanding the Complexities of Single Parenthood, Divorce, Stepfamilies, and Teenage Emotional Problems | p. 331 |
| Single Parenthood | p. 332 |
| Difficult Divorces | p. 336 |
| Stepfamily Issues | p. 337 |
| Teenage Emotional Problems | p. 340 |
| Final Thoughts | p. 342 |
| Choosing the Right Counselor for You | p. 343 |
| Index | p. 349 |
| Table of Contents provided by Syndetics. All Rights Reserved. |
ISBN: 9780312303013
ISBN-10: 0312303017
Published: 1st October 2002
Format: Paperback
Language: English
Number of Pages: 368
Audience: General Adult
Publisher: St Martins Press
Country of Publication: GB
Edition Number: 1
Dimensions (cm): 20.32 x 13.97 x 3.18
Weight (kg): 0.33
Shipping
| Standard Shipping | Express Shipping | |
|---|---|---|
| Metro postcodes: | $9.99 | $14.95 |
| Regional postcodes: | $9.99 | $14.95 |
| Rural postcodes: | $9.99 | $14.95 |
Orders over $89.00 qualify for free shipping.
How to return your order
At Booktopia, we offer hassle-free returns in accordance with our returns policy. If you wish to return an item, please get in touch with Booktopia Customer Care.
Additional postage charges may be applicable.
Defective items
If there is a problem with any of the items received for your order then the Booktopia Customer Care team is ready to assist you.
For more info please visit our Help Centre.
You Can Find This Book In

Boys
A guide to raising boys to be confident, resilient and caring, from expert host of Channel 9's Parental Guidance
Paperback
RRP $36.99
$26.99
OFF

The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (and Your Children Will Be Glad That You Did)
THE #1 SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER
Paperback
RRP $26.99
$22.99
OFF

How to Raise a Gentle Man
A guide for parents and carers who want to raise kind, emotionally intelligent and respectful boys
Paperback
RRP $34.99
$28.75
OFF

Raising Girls in the 21st Century
From Babyhood to Womanhood - Helping Your Daughter to Grow Up Wise, Warm and Strong
Paperback
RRP $34.99
$28.75
OFF

He'll Be OK
Growing Gorgeous Boys Into Good Men 20th Anniversary Edition, for those who watched the Netflix drama ADOLESCENCE
Paperback
RRP $36.99
$29.75
OFF

Raising Attention
A supportive guide for parents and carers of children with ADHD and explosive behaviour
Paperback
RRP $34.99
$28.75
OFF


















