Painting Portraits of Everyone I've Ever Dated

By: Joseph Earp

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Paperback | 29 April 2025 | Edition Number 1

At a Glance

Paperback
320 Pages

Dimensions(cm)
23.4 x 15.3

Paperback

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A wry, tender and funny debut novel about art and love – and how the act of seeing lies at the heart of both

All Ellie Robertson has wanted to be since childhood is a painter: after all, that’s the easiest way to speak without actually having to say anything. But now she’s turning thirty, has had a major career win, and is only just realising that she might have let some minor things slide. Like, for instance, working out how to love another human being.

So Ellie decides to do what any normal person would do: paint a portrait of each of her exes, from the childhood crush to the woman she may or may not still be madly in love with. The only problem is that she now needs to get in touch with everyone she’s dated, and not everyone is exactly happy to talk to her.

Hilarious and bittersweet, Painting Portraits of Everyone I’ve Ever Dated is a story of a young woman who decides to finally try and see other people – even if she runs the risk of (god forbid) finally seeing herself.

'I had lofty expectations for this debut and it did not disappoint ... Droll, delightful and deeply funny, I devoured it whole and hope for seconds.' – Nadine J. Cohen, author of Everyone and Everything

Industry Reviews

'I had lofty expectations for this debut and it did not disappoint ... Droll, delightful and deeply funny. I devoured it whole and hope for seconds.' – Nadine J. Cohen, author of Everyone and Everything

'This book is deranged and gorgeous. Joseph Earp has written a sumptuous work of uncommon insight that possesses both the vigour of youth and a universal human frailty. Earp writes with a knife. This book is totally alive and had me ugly-laughing when I wasn't wincing with recognition. Earp is brilliant.' – Rick Morton

'This is the kind of book that will make you laugh out loud in public and perhaps even cry, as I did. Zany, witty, fun, heartrending and wise, Painting Portraits of Everyone I’ve Ever Dated not only entertains but also offers sharp insights into love, art, and self-perception.' – Books+Publishing

'A taut, witty and brilliant debut. Ellie’s attempts to make sense of the world are equal parts hilarious and slyly affecting – she is a tortured artist of the likes I could listen to all day.' – Amy Taylor, author of Search History

'All last year I bemoaned that Australian literature was no fun anymore. Joseph Earp has answered my prayers with this charming novel. It made me laugh and I read it very fast – an absolute delight.' – Allee Richards, author of Small Joys of Real Life

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Painting Portraits of Everyone I've Ever Dated

At a Glance

Paperback

Industry Reviews

Shipping

How to return your order

Defective items

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