+612 9045 4394
$7.95 Delivery per order to Australia and New Zealand
100% Australian owned
Over a hundred thousand in-stock titles ready to ship
Letitia Baldrige's New Manners for New Times : A Complete Guide to Etiquette - Letitia Baldrige

Letitia Baldrige's New Manners for New Times

A Complete Guide to Etiquette

eBook Published: 24th November 2009
ISBN: 9781439188545
    Good For
  • iOS and Android Devices (Booktopia Reader app)
  • eReaders, Kobo, PC, Mac (requires Adobe Digital Editions)
    Not supported
  • Kindle or iBooks
  • Windows Smart Phones
  • Overdrive
  • Resizeable Text
  • Flowing Text
  • DRM Protected
  • Printing, Copying or Reproducing Pages
Share This eBook:

Other Available Editions (Hide)


Letitia Baldrige is universally recognized as the country's leading authority on executive, domestic, and social manners. She began writing on manners and protocol during her diplomatic service in 1949, and she has been hailed on the cover of Time magazine as "America's leading arbiter of manners." Originally published in 1989, her Complete Guide to New Manners has now been thoroughly revised and updated to incorporate the changing social conventions and enormous technological advances of the past fifteen years.

Baldrige was the first etiquette writer to advise extensively on the subject of manners in the workplace. With her legendary background in both the government and business worlds, she remains the prime authority on the integration of goals that often seem at odds with one another -- namely, family, work, and pleasure. Baldrige provides fresh guidelines on etiquette at work and in every form of communication, from letters to emails to cell phone calls.

She also updates the way we approach the traditional rites of passage -- weddings, funerals, religious ceremonies, gatherings large and small. Here are authoritative answers to the etiquette questions and issues involved in nontraditional family relationships -- stepfamilies, adult children returning home, elderly parents moving in, gays and lesbians in the family, dating for the newly single, and the myriad complications that spring from divorce.

Through it all, Baldrige does not forget the essence of manners: they are an expression of love and care, and they are under our control. New Manners for New Times is a comprehensive encyclopedia that will lead readers confidently and correctly through the maze of lifestyles, customs, business, and ways of relating to others in this new, complex millennium. But it is, above all, a very personal statement.



Manners from the Heart


Chapter 1: Family Manners

The Family, Idealistically Speaking

Manners with Those Close to You

Courtesies That Hold Your Nuclear Family Together

With Your Mate

With Your Mother- and Father-in-Law

With Your Son and Daughter-in-Law or Daughter and Son-in-Law

Roommate Etiquette

The New Family Formation: Adults (Hopefully) Living Together Harmoniously

An Adult Child Returns to the Nest

When a Parent Lives with You

The Family Forum

You Are Single but Still Part of a Family

Fighting the Good Fight Against Loneliness

Making Friends of your Family

Reasons to Be Glad You Are Single

If You Want to Stop Being Single

The Opportunities for Meeting People Are Endless

Complete Turnoff Questions Never to Ask a Single Person

If You Want to Play Matchmaker

Gay and Lesbian Couples -- They Are Families, Too

Good Manners Toward Gays and Lesbians

When a Gay Couple Adopts a Child

The Keepers of Your House -- They Are Family, Too

Working with Non-English-Speaking Employees

Before You Employ Someone in Your Home

Special Recommendations for Your Sitter and Child Caregiver

Special Training for Workers in Grand Houses

What Should Your Domestic Staff Call You and What Should You Call Them?

The "Character Factor"

If You're Using a Caterer for Your Party

Chapter 2: The Manners That Make Children Great

How a Child Learns to Distinguish Between Right and Wrong

The Example of Her Parents

Moral Lessons a Small Child Gleans from Parents Through Reading and Conversation

When Your Child Is Curious About a Disabled Person He Sees in Public

The Help That Religious Faith Can Give

Basic Behavior Rules Your Child of Ten or Older Should Know

The Basics

Teenagers Need a Few More Rules

Twenty-two Common Teenage Examples of a Family's Bad Manners and Oversights

Household Telephone Rules

A Few Dating Manners

Making the Rules Easier to Take

What's a Piece of Furniture?

Your Role in Your Children's Relationships

With Siblings

Addressing Adults

Parents Speak to Their Children About Sex

A Mother Speaks to Her Daughter

A Father Speaks to His Son

The E-mailing Kids' Generation

Guarding Your Child Against the Perils of Drugs and Alcohol


Drugs and the Vulnerable Teenager

The Kinds of Drugs Around Us

Teaching Your Young Child About Alcohol

Teenage Drinking

Where to Get Help

When Your Children Become Adults: Keep Your Family Together

Nice Ways to Treat Other Family Members

Everyday Manners Out in the World

Chapter 3: Making Friends in a Busy World

The First Step: Meeting People Who May Become Friends

Become Creative About How You Use Your Leisure Time

Solidifying a New Friendship

Manners and Friendship in the Great Outdoors


Making Friends at Work

Widening Your Horizons Through Volunteer Work

Choosing a Volunteer Activity

The Way to Get on a Nonprofit Agency Board

If Your Volunteer Motives Are Partly Social

Words to Use at Difficult Times

Growing Older with Grace

The Middle-Aged Years Should Be and Can Be the Best of Times

Some Options for Improving the Mind

Some Options for Improving the Body

Some Options for Improving the Heart

Leave Your Real Legacy Behind You

Chapter 4: Working Smart

Commonsense Polite Business Behavior: Good to Know!

When You're New in the Office

What to Say When You Are Belittled at Work

To Be a Well-Liked, Successful Executive

Some ABCs of Executive Etiquette

Traveling with the Boss

Meeting Manners

Receiving a Visitor to Your Office

Corporate Jet Etiquette

If a Member of Senior Management Dies

Corporate Responsibility When Serving Alcohol

When You Have to Let Someone Go for Economic Reasons

When You Are the One Let Go

Finding a Job in an Unsympathetic Environment

Hunting for a New Job

While You are Still Employed

Infant Feeding and Breast-Feeding in the Office

Tasty Tidbits of Etiquette (for Your Business or Social Life)

Chapter 5: The Manners That Make Travel Easier

Ensuring a Pleasurable Trip

Having a Good Time with a Traveling Companion

When You're Taking a Plane

Your Hotel Manners

Your B&B Manners

Going on a Cruise?

How to Have a Happy Cruise

Remember Your Manners

Cruise Attire

Cruise Tipping

Women and Travel

Men and Women Traveling Together on Business

A Woman Traveling Alone

Some Practical Advice

Dealing with a Travel Agent

A Wise Move for the Overseas Traveler

Chapter 6: The Art of Tipping

General Guidelines on Tipping

At Restaurants

Valet Parking and Limousine Service

When You're Taking a Taxi

When You Are Staying in a Hotel

If You're a Weekend Guest in a Home with a Domestic Staff

When You're at the Hairdresser

When You Are in a Railroad Club Car

Tip the Fast-Food Deliverer

Holiday Tipping

Tipping the People Who Serve You in Your Home

Holiday Tipping in Your Staffed Apartment House

When You Have Your Car in a Private Garage

When You Are in a Foreign Country

Chapter 7: Dressing Appropriately

Propriety and Appropriateness

At Church or Temple

The Right Thing to Wear -- Women

What You Wear to a Cocktail Party

What You Wear to a Black Tie Affair

What You Wear to a White Tie Affair

What You Wear to Someone's Private Club

Women at Their Offices

The Right Thing to Wear -- Men

Sandal Etiquette

Men's Fashion Disasters

Your Ties

Your Jewelry

What You Wear to a Black Tie Affair

What You Wear to a White Tie Affair

A Final Word of Advice

Chapter 8: Common Courtesies

Common Courtesies Appropriate When You Are Out and About

On the Street as Pedestrian or Driver

On Public Transportation

At Movies and in the Theater

In the Supermarket

At the Beach or Camping

At a Pool

The Magical Game Called Golf

Courtesies to Observe with Those You Encounter During Your Day

Your Manners with the Expert Professionals Who Serve You

Your Manners with Waiters

Your Manners with Tradespeople and Salespeople

Your Manners with Strangers Encountered Along the Way

Chapter 9: Table Manners That Take You Anywhere: The Right Thing to Do at Every Kind of Meal -- or, How to Avoid Being a Klutz

Table Manner Basics

Body Language at Table

General Rules on Conduct at Table

Dilemmas at Mealtime

Mealtime Decorum

Saying Grace

When Do You Start Eating?

Serving Yourself from a Platter

Taking Modest Portions

Tasting Other People's Food

Diets, Diets, Diets

If You Spill at Table

Using Your Flatware Properly

Napkin Etiquette

Finger Bowls

How to Handle Different -- and Sometimes Difficult -- Foods

Hors d'Oeuvres

Breads and Pastries

The Relish Tray






Vegetables That Are Difficult to Eat


Fresh Fruit Served at the End of a Meal

Informal Foods


Chapter 10: New Manners for an Ever-Changing Society

Dating Today

Asking the Person for the Date

Dating Manners

Who Pays for What

If You're Miserable on the Date

Give Blind Dates a Chance!

Sex -- Good, Bad, and Indifferent

What Do Manners, Compassion, and Character Have to Do with It?

When the Answer Is Yes

When the Answer Is No

When a Woman Is Afraid to Be Alone at Home with a Man

Bringing Up the Subject of Condoms

Safe Sex and Multiple Partners

A Homosexual Relationship

What to Tell the Mate of Someone Who's Playing Around

Pleasures and Pitfalls of the Office Romance

Sex and Sexism in the Office

Watch Your Language

When Sex Can Create Problems for a Woman Traveling Alone on Business

Sexual Harassment Is Not Just Against Women

Cohabitation Manners

Making a Commitment Even Though You Decide Not to Marry

The Romance Is Over


Chapter 11: You're Engaged!

Telling the World Your Good News

When Announcing Your Engagement Is Not Necessary

Newspaper Announcement of the Engagement

The Engagement Ring

Celebrating the Engagement

The Engagement Party

Engagement Presents

Showers: Feting the Bride-to-Be

Asking Someone to Marry You

When a Woman Does the Proposing

When Your Answer Is "No"

Chapter 12: Weddings

The Architecture of a Beautiful First Wedding

The Homosexual Community's Wedding and Commitment Ceremonies

Acknowledgments for Commitment Gifts or Baby Presents If the Couple Adopts a Baby

Your Wedding Invitations

Who Receives Your Invitations?

The Various Ways of Inviting Guests to the Wedding

The Formal Traditional Wedding Invitation

Addressing and Mailing the Invitations

The Correct Wording on Wedding Invitations

The Etiquette of Names on Wedding Invitations

The Separate Reception Invitation Card

The Ceremony Card

Soliciting a Reply to an Invitation

"At Home" Cards

A Pew Card
Admission Cards

Other Enclosures, Such as Maps and Special Parking Instructions

Wedding Announcements

The Announcement Text

How Much Will It Cost and Who Will Pay?

First, the Budget

Paying for It

Planning for a Perfect Wedding Day

Choosing the Time for the Religious Ceremony

Choosing the Place for the Wedding Service

Options That Make for a Happy Day

Keep Track of Important Details with a Wedding Planner

Invitation List

The Wedding Party

The Wedding Ceremony

Reception Planner for a Large Wedding

Transportation Arrangements

Working with the Caterer

The Food at the Reception

Planning the Menu

The Presentation Is Important

The Wedding Cake


Bridesmaids' Bouquets


Photography Requirements

The Bride's Portrait

The Candid Photographer



Wedding Attendants

The Bride's Attendants

The Groom's Attendants

The Rehearsal

The Rehearsal Dinner

The Wedding Day Arrives!

Getting to the Church

Meanwhile, Inside the Church

Seating in the Front Pew on the Bride's Side

The Wedding Service

Music for the Ceremony

The Service Is About to Begin

The Processional Begins

The Role of the Bride's Attendants

Variations on Who Acts as the Father of the Bride

Giving the Bride Away

The Wedding

Ring Is Placed on the Finger

Recitation of the Vows

The Kiss

The Recessional

A Double Wedding Ceremony

The Pregnant Bride

A Small or Big Wedding at Home

Tenting Your Yard or Garden

The Reception

When the Wedding and Reception Place Are Combined

Guest Book

The Receiving Line

Seating the Tables at the Reception

Wedding Toasts

The Bride's First Dance

Weddings in the Jewish Tradition


Preparation for the Wedding Day

The Chuppa

The Processional

The Ceremony

The Recessional

The Reception

Interfaith Marriages

The Ecumenical Wedding Service

Another Option: Two Ceremonies

Wedding Apparel

The Bridal Attendants' Dresses

The Apparel of the Groomsmen

How the Guests Should Dress

The Wedding Ring

Announcement in the Newspaper

Last-Minute Wedding Disasters


Wedding Gift Record Book

The Exchange of Gifts Within the Wedding Party

Gifts from Family and Friends to the Bride and Groom

Bridal Registry

The Gift of Money

Returning and Exchanging Gifts

Thank-you Notes

Postponing the Wedding

Calling Off the Wedding

Prenuptial Agreements

When You Marry More Than Once

Who Does the Inviting?

Changes in the Ritual

How the Bride Dresses

The Ceremony
Parties and the Second Wedding

Gifts the Second Time Around

Stepchildren, Stepparents, and Grandparents

Chapter 13: Pregnancy, Birth, and Other Rites of Passage That Welcome a Child into the World

The Happiest Event of All: The Birth of a Baby

Polite Pregnancy at Work

Returning to Work After the Baby Is Born

Nursing the Baby

The Birth Announcement

How to React to a Birth Announcement

Extending Congratulations for the New Baby

Presents for the Parents

Presents for the Baby

Studio Cards

Letters of Congratulation

Traditional Christian Ceremonies Marking the Child's
Arrival and Maturation

The Christening

First Communion

Confirmation in the Protestant and Catholic Faiths

Traditional Jewish Ceremonies Marking the Child's Arrival and Maturation

Brith Milah

Bar and Bat Mitzvah


Special Birthdays for Girls

The Quinceañera

Sweet Sixteen Parties


Chapter 14: The Last Rite of Passage: Funerals

Taking Charge of the Arrangements

Preparing the Obituary

The Proprieties in Connection with a Funeral

What Do You Say?

Sending Flowers

Attire for Funerals

Ceremonies for or Honoring the Deceased

A Viewing or Wake

The Christian Funeral Service

A Cremation

Jewish Services

Memorial Service

After the Funeral or Memorial

The Survivor Writes a Thank-You

Showing Continuing Support


Chapter 15: Entertaining Today's Way

How Entertaining Brings Friends into Your Life

pardThe Kinds of Entertaining People Love

Extending Invitations

How Far Ahead Do You Extend an Invitation?

Save-the-Date Cards

Parts of a Formal Invitation

Who Does the Inviting?

The Language of Invitations ("Invitationese")

Reminder Cards
Kinds of Invitations

Requesting a Reply

"No Gifts" on Invitations

An Invitation from the White House

When You Reply to an Invitation

Sending a Formal Written Reply

Get Yourself Organized

Basics of Good Entertaining Planning

Working with the Caterer

Sample Party Plans -- A Potluck Meal

Sample Plans for a Small Dinner

The Logistics of Planning a Large Dinner

The Cocktail Party

The Social Aspects of Alcohol

How Many Bars, How Much Help, and What Supplies Are Needed

A Cocktail Buffet

Cocktail Party Manners

An Invitation to Tea

Making an Effort: Set an Attractive Table

The Role of Linens in Table Settings

Decorating the Tables

Place Cards

Menu Cards

A Note About Today's Menus

Knowing the Rules for Contemporary Table Settings

What's on the Table at the Start of the Meal?

Salad Plates and the Service of Salad

Using the Right Flatware

The Table Accoutrements You Should Have for Entertaining Today

Buying Your China

Buying Table Linens

Buying Flatware

Buying Glassware

The Service of the Seated Meal -- With or Without Help

Who Is Served First?

How Does the Waiter or Waitress Serve?

Serving a Dinner Party of Six Without Help

Training Young People to Wait on Table

Advice to Waitstaff on Serving a Typical Three-Course Meal

The Art of the Service of Wine

Tips on the Service of Wine

The Major Categories of Wine and Their Proper Serving Temperatures

Champagne Etiquette

After-Dinner Drinks

How to Open a Wine Bottle

Tasting the Wine at Home

Tasting the Wine in a Good Restaurant

How Much Wine to Buy

Wine Stains

Wine and Champagne Savers

Storing Your Wine

Serving Memorable Food

Ways to Interest Yourself in Cooking for Guests

How Many Courses Should You Serve?

Advice for Making Entertaining Easy, Attractive -- and Memorable

Alternative Party Ideas

The Garage Party

Parties Around Games That Require Using Your Wits

An Exercise Party

Entertaining Out and About

Your Personal Touch

Things to Remember

Restaurant Manners

Music Makes the World Go Round

Background Music

Dance Music

Hiring a Musician or Any Kind of Performer

Using Recorded Music

Protocol for You, Not Just for Royalty

How to Receive Your Guests

Name Badges

Signing the Guest Book

Seating Arrangements

The Script for an Official Social Function

Toasting Is an Art and an Important Part of Protocol

Short Toasts

What Prompts a Toast?

When Do You Toast?

Loving Care of the Weekend Houseguest

Whom to Invite

When Not to Invite Houseguests

Getting Yourself Organized

Preparing the House

How to Plan the Food

Necessary Attributes in an Accomplished Weekend Host

The Houseguest Who Is Always Invited Back

A Houseguest with a Present Is More Welcome Than One Without

Not to Forget: The Thank-you Letter

Remember This About the Entire Subject of Entertaining

The Most Prestigious Invitation of Them All: Dinner at the White House

Chapter 16: Gifts That Show You Care

When You Send Flowers

When a Wedding Is in the Offing

How Many Showers Are Too Many?

Bar Shower

Wedding Presents

The Bride's Dilemma: To Return or Not to Return Gifts

Presents for the Holidays

Organizing the List

Baking and Making Your Own Gifts
Organizing Your Own Family's Christmas Day

Thank-you's for Holiday Gifts

Business Holiday Gifts

Hanukkah Presents

Gift Suggestions for Other People and Other Occasions

Baby Presents and Christening Presents

Suggestions for Gifts to Give Teenage Children on Any Occasion

Gifts for the Elderly

For Someone Who Is Seriously Ill or Injured

A Houseguest's Present for the Host

Gifts for a Housewarming

A Little Advice


Chapter 17: How to Help Someone Deal with the Loss of a Spouse

Dealing with a Divorce

How Should You Behave When You Have Divorced?

How Should People Behave When Their Friends Divorce?

When You Are Widowed

Dating Again and Remarriage

When You're on Your Own Again

The Task of Healing Yourself

A Real Friend

There Is a Difference Between Alone and Lonely

The Newly Single Woman's Name

Chapter 18: When Someone Is Ill or Injured

Minding Your Manners in the Hospital

When a Good Friend Develops a Life-Threatening Disease

When You Have a Good Friend with AIDS

What You Say to the Person Who Has Just Suffered a Loss

When Someone Loses a Lover

When a Parent Loses a Child

When Your Friend Has a Miscarriage

Chapter 19: Making Things Right: When You've Really Messed Up. Send Roses

Making Amends

Your Guests Have Arrived But You Have Mixed Up the Dates and Not Realized Tonight is Your Sit-Down Dinner Party

When You Commit a Serious Gaffe in Making Introductions

Control That Temper!


Chapter 20: How to Be an Interesting Conversationalist

The Two V's: Voice and Vocabulary

The Force of a Dynamic Vocabulary

Can We Start a Literacy Crusade in the Workplace?

Small Talk

When Not to Make Small Talk

So What Are You Going to Talk About?

If You Don't Want to Be a Bore

Extricating Yourself from a Conversational Dilemma

The Conversational Hero

Handling Prying Personal Relationship Questions

The Art of Giving and Receiving Compliments

Compliments as Icebreakers When Conversation Has Bogged Down

Know How to Accept a Compliment

When You Notice a Friend's Physical Change for the Better -- or If You Notice It's a Change for the Worse

Chapter 21: Great Telephone Manners at Home

How You Sound Affects How People See You and Feel Toward You

It's Important to Teach Telephone Manners to the Children, Which Means You Have Good Ones Yourself!

Telephone Security When the Kids Are Home

The Office Telephone

Taking Good Messages

Dealing with a Well-Mannered Answering Machine

Good Manners for the Answering Machine Owner (or Voice Mail User)

Advice to the Person Leaving a Message

A Caution About Answering Machines

Cell Phone Etiquette

Chapter 22: Classic Correspondence: Writing Good Letters and Notes

When an E-mail Isn't Appropriate

The Old-Fashioned Letter

Helpful Hints on Letter Writing

Writing Good Letters

Negatives to Watch Out For

Letters That Fit the Occasion

Business Letters

Thank-you Letters
Letters of Complaint

Letters of Reference

Letters of Congratulation

Catch-up Letters

Letters of Apology

Condolence Letters

Love Letters


Greeting Cards and Holiday Messages

Christmas Cards

Holiday Newsletters

The Personal Stationery You Use

Single Stationery Half Sheets

Correspondence Cards

Letter Paper for Everyday Use

Very Nice to Have

Monograms -- Single and Married

The Electronic Revolution

Tech Manners in the Midst of New Signals, Flashes, Dashes, Squeaks, Vibrations, and Above All, Unidentifiable Noises

The Best Part of This New Society

Yes, E-mails Have Their Own Etiquette, Too

E-mails: Wing-footed Messengers of Speed

Beepers and Pagers

The Speakerphone

Chapter 23: Addressing People Properly

How Should You Be Addressed?

When You Change Your Name

When Writing Letters or Speaking to Someone

Writing to People with Professional Titles

Using "Ms."

When a Man Is a Jr., Sr., 2nd, 3rd, or 4th

Using "Messrs."

Addressing Envelopes for Invitations

When You Don't Have a Clue About the Person to Whom You Are Writing

The Southern Use of "Sir" or "Ma'am"

Calling People by Their First or Last Names

How to Address Specific Groups

United States Officials

Addressing Women

"The Honorable" -- A Title of Respect in America

The British: Our Friends with Many Titles

Diplomatic Protocol with Other Nations

Western European Titles

The United Nations

Military Rank

Religious Officials

Foreign Professionals

For Questions Relating to Protocol



ISBN: 9781439188545
ISBN-10: 1439188548
Audience: General
Format: ePUB
Language: English
Number Of Pages: 736
Published: 24th November 2009
Publisher: Scribner