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Judo with Words : An Intelligent Way to Counter Verbal Attacks - Barbara Berckhan

Judo with Words

An Intelligent Way to Counter Verbal Attacks

Paperback Published: 1st January 2001
ISBN: 9781853435324
Number Of Pages: 142

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This is a handbook for verbal self-defence. Barbara Berckhan describes techniques of protecting and defending oneself effectively in challenging communication situations and how to shorten hostile interchanges and to stop provocations. Berckhan explains how to prevent verbal attacks in the first place. One of the essential features of the art of self-defence is a powerful appearance, since preferred victims of verbal attacks are those who appear to lack personal power. On the verbal level, people who appear unassertive often tend to excessively apologise and belittle themselves and use words like "maybe", "somehow" or "possibly", which make their statements sound more tentative.
The author draws on two main sources: insights gained from the training she gives as a communications consultant, and principles of Asian martial arts, which she then applies to verbal self-defence. The result is a 'verbal judo', which aims at fending off an attack and restoring peace rather than continuing the fight. The book concludes with a training programme that is designed to help the reader internalise the strategies that are presented.

Introduction: An Intelligent Way to Counter Verbal Attacksp. 1
The Powerful Stancep. 5
The Crash-barrierp. 5
You Can Protect Yourself against Unfriendlinessp. 6
Talking Without Losing the Threadp. 9
Calm and Persuasive Negotiationsp. 10
Test Your Own Protective Shieldp. 11
A Confident Presencep. 13
Signs of Powerlessnessp. 13
The Price of Being Lovedp. 16
Be Visibly Ready to Defend Yourselfp. 16
Thoughts that are in the Wayp. 18
The Powerful Stancep. 19
Leave the Powerlessness Behind: First Aid Measures after an Attackp. 22
First Aid after an Attackp. 23
Stress Makes you Stupidp. 24
Winning Without a Fightp. 27
No Resistance to the Attackerp. 27
Save Energyp. 29
A Nod and a Winkp. 29
How Provocations Manipulate Youp. 32
Let the Attack Run Dry: Ignore itp. 33
Let the Attack Run Dry: Wordless Gesturesp. 33
Gossips and Tactless Peoplep. 34
To Divert an Attackp. 37
Change the Subjectp. 37
Nobody Can Force a Conversation on Youp. 38
Don't Justify your Diverting Strategyp. 40
The Diversionp. 41
Trash for Trashp. 42
A Good Portion of Indifferencep. 43
No More Baffled Silencep. 45
The Right Quip at Lastp. 45
The Two-Syllable Responsep. 47
Two Syllables for Know-Allsp. 47
Don't Try to Change the Attackerp. 48
The Quick-Witted Ripostep. 51
Be Unpredictablep. 51
Confuse Your Opponentp. 52
Discard all Logic and Reasonp. 53
The Inappropriate Proverbp. 55
Too Many Swallows...p. 56
Dealing with Destructive Criticismp. 58
Recognizing an Aggressionp. 58
Give Them a Chancep. 59
Neutralizing Negative Criticismp. 60
No Responsep. 62
Asking Questions Puts You in Controlp. 63
The Neutralizing Counter-Questionp. 64
You are Entitled to Positive Criticismp. 65
Embrace Your Opponents and Paralyse Themp. 67
Upset the Aggressor's Balancep. 68
Giving In and Agreeingp. 69
Giving In and Insistingp. 69
Agreeing and Insistingp. 71
Paralyse your Opponents by Admiring Themp. 72
The Complimentp. 72
The 'Black Belt'p. 75
Don't Take Things Personallyp. 75
It's the Attacker Who Has a Problemp. 76
Don't Dive into the Aggressor's Emotionsp. 79
The Neutral Statementp. 80
Creating a Non-judgemental Atmospherep. 81
Stopping Insultsp. 84
A Radical Change of Behaviourp. 84
The Confrontationp. 85
Double Your Personal Powerp. 86
Aggressors Have to be Stopped in their Tracksp. 90
Pull the Plugp. 90
Digest the Shockp. 91
A Good Life is the Best Revengep. 93
Talking Straightp. 94
To See Through the Attackerp. 95
Talking Straightp. 97
Clarifying the Rulesp. 98
Airing Conflictsp. 99
Develop Your Witp. 105
The Full Arsenalp. 105
There is No Defeat--Only Experiencep. 106
Twelve Different Responses to One Attackp. 107
The Training Programmep. 110
The Right Responsep. 136
Trust Your Feelingsp. 138
A Final Word of Comfortp. 140
Table of Contents provided by Syndetics. All Rights Reserved.

ISBN: 9781853435324
ISBN-10: 1853435325
Audience: General
Format: Paperback
Language: English
Number Of Pages: 142
Published: 1st January 2001
Country of Publication: GB
Dimensions (cm): 23.5 x 15.8  x 0.9
Weight (kg): 0.25