| Preface | p. xiii |
| Introduction | p. 1 |
| Give Yourself a Lit Star Makeover | |
| Write | p. 07 |
| Dream | p. 16 |
| Objectify Yourself | p. 17 |
| How I Became a Novelist: An Interview with Marc Acito | p. 20 |
| See Yourself as an Artist and an Entrepreneur | p. 25 |
| Don't Tell Me You're Too Old | p. 29 |
| Embrace Your Genius | p. 29 |
| Get Your Heart Smashed, but Just Once or Twice | p. 31 |
| How to Stay Flash-proof: An Interview with Julia Alvarez | p. 32 |
| Keep Your Mouth Shut | p. 39 |
| Choose a Good Vice | p. 41 |
| Be Just as Crazy as You Are | p. 41 |
| You Have to Be Strong: An Imagined Interview with Haruki Murakami | p. 42 |
| Fight for Your Time | p. 47 |
| Only Change Your Name If You Have To | p. 49 |
| Develop a Superhero Alter Ego | p. 52 |
| Watch Out for Stalkers and Wannabes | p. 55 |
| Demolish Arrogance | p. 57 |
| Ask Magnificent Meteor | p. 60 |
| Master Your Craft | |
| Discover Your Lineage | p. 67 |
| Practice | p. 69 |
| Stories Are Like Feral Kittens: An Interview with Ursula K. Le Guin | p. 70 |
| Rush It | p. 76 |
| Listen | p. 78 |
| Study Words | p. 80 |
| Don't Say Plethora | p. 82 |
| Confessions of an Outcast Writer: An Interview with Floyd Salas | p. 84 |
| Take the Book's Dare | p. 90 |
| Embody Character | p. 95 |
| Become an Architect | p. 97 |
| Get Cinematic | p. 101 |
| The Tell-All Memoir: An Interview with Michelle Tea | p. 103 |
| Lather, Rinse, Repeat | p. 107 |
| Relax the Rules | p. 110 |
| Get the Hell Back to Writing: An Interview with Dave Barry | p. 111 |
| Ask Magnificent Meteor | p. 113 |
| Publish Before You're Ready | |
| Make a Fool of Yourself | p. 119 |
| Write for Strangers | p. 122 |
| Start Small | p. 124 |
| Ayun Sez Publish Now!: An Interview with Ayun Halliday | p. 125 |
| Be an Anthology Slut | p. 128 |
| Make a Zine | p. 132 |
| It Is What It Is: An Interview with Moe Bowstern | p. 140 |
| Ten Excellent Reasons to Self-Publish | p. 148 |
| Make Your Own Books | p. 149 |
| Volunteer Power and Dirty Gasoline: An Interview with Jim Munroe | p. 152 |
| Print on Demand | p. 159 |
| All Media at My Command: An Interview with Susie Bright | p. 162 |
| Blog This | p. 167 |
| Ask Magnificent Meteor | p. 169 |
| Play with the Big Dogs | |
| Be Nice to Interns | p. 175 |
| How to Piss Off an Editor | p. 176 |
| Meet Your Deadlines | p. 178 |
| Size Matters | p. 179 |
| The Possibility of Disaster: An Interview with Dave Eggers | p. 180 |
| Don't Submit Blindly to Published Authors | p. 184 |
| Revel in Rejection | p. 186 |
| When Destiny Calls: An Interview with Bertice Berry | p. 189 |
| Write a Proposal | p. 194 |
| Get an Agent | p. 196 |
| Do Your Homework: An Interview with Cosmic Editor | p. 199 |
| Some Perils of Success | p. 209 |
| Ask Magnificent Meteor | p. 215 |
| Become a Brazen Self-Promoter | |
| Learn to Talk | p. 221 |
| Grab the Mic | p. 223 |
| "I Still Shake Onstage": An Interview with Daphne Gottlieb | p. 225 |
| Alert the Press | p. 229 |
| When Journalists Are Not Your Friends | p. 234 |
| The Queen of Self-Promotion: An Interview with Margaret Cho | p. 236 |
| Take to the Radio Waves | p. 240 |
| Get Your Book Banned | p. 241 |
| Champion Other Lit Stars | p. 245 |
| Treat the World as Your Own Personal Clubhouse: An Interview with Erika Lopez | p. 247 |
| Organize an Outrageous Headlong Cross-country Tour | p. 253 |
| Stand Out on the Corner in a Gorilla Mask and a Pink Tutu | p. 257 |
| Don't Insult the Folks Who Show Up | p. 258 |
| Send Thank-You Notes | p. 260 |
| Remember Why You Came Here | p. 261 |
| Acknowledgments | p. 263 |
| About the Author | p. 265 |
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