"A clearheaded study of what life can do to us and possible ways to begin again." --Carl A. Whitaker, M.D., author of Midnight Musings of a Family Therapist and coauthor of The Family Crucible Women and men who have been deeply hurt by someone they love often experience a pain that spirals out to undermine their work, relationships, self-esteem, and even their sense of reality. In Forgiving the Unforgivable, author Beverly Flanigan, a leading authority on forgiveness, defines such unforgivable injuries, explains their poisonous effects, and then guides readers out of the paralyzing anger and resentment. As a Fellow of the Kellogg Foundation, Flanigan conducted a pioneering study of forgiveness, and from that study, from her clinical practice, and from her many years of teaching, researching, and conducting professional workshops and seminars, she devised a unique six-stage program, presented here. Filled with inspiring real-life examples, Forgiving the Unforgivable is both a practical and a comforting guide to recovery and healing.
PART I: Anatomy of an Unforgivable Injury.
1. Anatomy of an Unforgivable Injury.
2. Harms and Harmers.
3. The Aftermath of Injury.
PART II: The Journey of Forgiving.
4. Phase One: Naming the Injury.
5. Phase Two: Claiming the Injury.
6. Phase Three: Blaming the Injurer.
7. Phase Four: Balancing the Scales.
8. Phase Five: Choosing to Forgive.
9. Phase Six: The Emergence of a New Self.
PART III: Tools for Forgiving.
10. Tools for Naming the Injury.
11. Tools for Claiming the Injury.
12. Tools for Blaming the Injurer.
13. Tools for Balancing the Scales.
14. Tools for Choosing to Forgive.
15. Reflections on the New Self.
PART IV: The Need to Forgive.
16. The Need to Forgive.