Every woman knows the fairy tale: find the right man, give him what he wants and needs, and he'll love you forever. But when the myth you've been asked to believe fails to deliver—when you sense you've been settling for far less than you know in your heart is possible—how do you attract and keep a man capable of meeting what you most passionately yearn for?
In Dear Lover, David Deida explores every aspect of the feminine practice of spiritual intimacy, from sexuality and lovemaking to family and career to emotions, trust, and commitment. Written as a collection of letters from a man to his dear lover, here is this internationally acclaimed writer's invitation to practice love as a living art, as you discover:
- Why your man is always your choice—and how to pick the man of deep integrity who will satisfy the needs of your body, heart, and spirit
- “Sexual essence” and the three stages of loving: how to understand your fluctuating capacity to experience divine connection with another
- Knowing when to end a relationship and how to deal with the “him-shaped void” your absent man leaves behind
- Daily exercises to help you and your partner move from separation to openness in two-bodies devotional trust
Ultimately, what every woman wants it to give and receive love fully. Whether you’re partnered or alone, Dear Lover
reveals that “your love is the same love that years to open at everybody’s heart. You will attract and inspire a man as willing and able to open as you are. Constant yearning is the call to open and give yourself to all as love’s offering.” Contents
1. You Are Love
2 . Chocolate Love
3. Yearning Is the Key to Love
4. The Gift of Making Love
5. Spiritual Sexiness
6. Orgasmic Love
7. Love and Fear
8. Your Sexual Essence
9. Your True Heart and Its Shells
10. Offering or Betraying Your Heart
11. The Two-Bodied Play of Love
12. Loving Larger Than Fear
13. Trusting Your Man to Open You
14. You Attract Your Reciprocal
15. Why Men Hold Back
16. Your Force of Attraction
17. Your Man is Your Choice
18. Expressing Pleasure and Hurt
19. Masculine Insensitivity
20. How to Stay Open
21. Opening Beyond an Impasse
22. Ending Relationships and the Him-Shaped Void
23. Three Stages of Loving
24. Love is a Living Art
25. Showing Your Heart’s Light in Public
26. Choosing Abuse and Refusing Love
27. Wanting to Be Opened
28. A Summary of Trusting and Opening
I offer the following chapters to you as if you were my lover. Although you may be single or married, I offer these words to you as I would do my beloved. We may never meet, but I want to give you the opportunity to feel your heart through mine.
For years, I have taught workshops around the world, opening with women and men while they share their deepest heart’s desires. It seems we often come to know ourselves most deeply through the heart of someone who loves us, who is willing to open and see us as we truly are, who is willing to listen and feel our heart’s yearning.
To give and receive love fully—this is our heart’s true desire, yours and mine. The yearning you feel in your heart is the same yearning that everyone feels. By feeling your heart’s yearning through nine, I hope you will come to know yourself more deeply through the many hearts that have opened together in trust and allowed these words to emerge.
All hearts want to open to God, or the boundless flow of divine love. You may or may not be a religious person, and still your heart years to open without bounds, to be seen and to be offered without limits. This is what I mean by “open to God”—to open and feel everything and everyone’s heart as a divine expression of love. Praise for Dear Lover
“In the area of sacred intimacy, David Deida is holding a lightning bolt. He sheds an astonishing light.”
—Marianne Williamson, Author of A Woman’s Worth
“As a woman, I’ve never felt so understood and validated. Finally, a clear and brilliant guide to unraveling the mystery of relationships.”
—Marci Shimoff, Co-author of the New York Times bestseller Chicken Soup for the Woman’s Soul
“I feel that Deida has reached a new level of poetic genius in his writing, and his understanding of feminine psychology astounds me.”
—Miranda Shaw, PhD. Author of Passionate Enlightenment: Women in Tantric Buddhism
“We all taste God, taste Goddess, taste pure spirit in those moments of sexual rapture, and wise men and women have always used that rapture to reveal Spirit’s innermost secrets. David Deida is such a wise one.”
—Ken Wilber, Author of Grace and Grit
"In the area of sacred intimacy, David Deida is holding a lightning bolt. He sheds an astonishing light."
--MARIANNE WILLIAMSOR, author of A Woman's Worth
"As a woman, I've never felt so understood and validated. Finally, a clear and brilliant guide to unraveling the mystery of relationships."
--MARCI SHIMOFF, co-author of the New York Times bestseller Chicken Soup for the Woman's Soul
"I feel that Deida has reached a new level of poetic genius in his writing, and his understanding of feminine psychology astounds me."
--MIRANDA SHAW, PH.D., author of Passionate Enlightenment: Women in Tantric Buddhism
"We all taste God, taste Goddess, taste pure spirit in those moments of sexual rapture, and wise men and women have always used that rapture to reveal Spirit's innermost secrets. David Deida is such a wise one."
--KEN WILBER, author of Grace and Grit