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Dangerous Relationships : How To Identify And Respond To The Seven Warning Signs Of A Troubled Relationship - Noelle Nelson

Dangerous Relationships

How To Identify And Respond To The Seven Warning Signs Of A Troubled Relationship

Paperback Published: 10th May 2001
ISBN: 9780738204659
Number Of Pages: 332

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"A powerful and important book!…Dangerous Relationships could be a life saver."-Susan Forward, Therapist and Author, Men Who Hate Women & The Women Who Love Them and Toxic Parents"I would highly recommend this book to anyone who may be in a violent relationship, or to a relative or close personal friend who has concerns about the safety of someone they love."-Diane P. McGauley, Executive Director, The Family Place, Chair, Texas Council on Family ViolencePossessiveness, insensitivity, and a sudden personality change are all warning signs of a potential abuser. Dangerous Relationships will help readers recognize a potentially violent personality before it's too late. Interweaving real-life stories of four couples, Dr. Noelle Nelson highlights dangerous turning points in relationships and explains how readers can safely diffuse tension between their spouses, lovers, or roommate and protect themselves from abuse.

"How to Identify and Respond to the Seven Warning Signs of a Troubled Relationship "A powerful and important book!Dangerous Relationships could be a life saver." -Susan Forward, Therapist and Author, Men Who Hate Women & The Women Who Love Them and Toxic Parents "I would highly recommend this book to anyone who may be in a violent relationship, or to a relative or close personal friend who has concerns about the safety of someone they love." -Diane P. McGauley, Executive Director, The Family Place, Chair, Texas Council on Family Violence"

Introductionp. 1
What Is Domestic Violence?p. 2
The Purpose of This Bookp. 3
Cautionp. 6
How to Use This Bookp. 6
Notesp. 7
The Four Relationshipsp. 9
A Whirlwind Beginning
Swept Awayp. 13
Isn't It Romanticp. 13
Adam and Eve in Paradisep. 15
A Love for All Eternityp. 16
A Dynamite Roommatep. 17
Too Much, Too Soonp. 20
The Push for Intimacyp. 24
High Up on a Pedestalp. 28
How to Deal with the Heady Rush of a Passionate Beginningp. 33
Too Much, Too Soonp. 33
The Push for Intimacyp. 37
High Up on a Pedestalp. 39
The Hot Pursuitp. 45
Are Your Rights and Feelings Really Being Respected?p. 45
"I Want What I Want When I Want It": Abusers Have Trouble with Impulse Controlp. 49
"Now You See It, Now You Don't": The Distracting Maneuverp. 53
You Signal that You Are Receptivep. 56
A One-Size-Fits-All Seductive Approachp. 58
How to Get the Respect You Deservep. 61
Respecting Your Rights and Feelingsp. 61
Poor Impulse Controlp. 66
Distracting Maneuversp. 70
Checking Receptivityp. 73
One-Size-Fits-All Seductionsp. 75
Possessiveness
You Belong to Mep. 81
The Togetherness Syndromep. 81
"I Want Power Over and Control of You"p. 89
"Your Time Belongs to Me"p. 91
"I'll Tell You Who You Can See, and When, and Where"p. 94
"I'll Pick Your Clothes, Your Hairstyle, Your Everything"p. 97
How You Are Manipulated and Controlledp. 98
How to Stay in Charge of Your Own Lifep. 105
Power and Controlp. 105
Controlling Your Timep. 107
Controlling the People You See and under What Circumstancesp. 108
Controlling What You Wear and Your Environmentp. 111
Manipulationp. 112
The Switch
Dr. Jekyll Becomes Mr./Ms. Hydep. 117
The Dark Side Emergesp. 117
The Screaming Beginsp. 121
A Hurtful Distancingp. 125
The Wicked Witch of the Northp. 127
Recognizing the Dr. Jekyll-Mr./Ms. Hyde Syndromep. 128
Emotional Overdrivep. 129
Unpredictable Emotional Reactionsp. 134
Inability to Let Gop. 135
Emotional Justificationp. 137
Notep. 138
How to Work with Your Partner's Emotional Extremesp. 139
Exaggerated Emotional Responsesp. 139
Unpredictable Emotional Reactionsp. 142
Inability to Let Gop. 145
Emotional Justificationp. 147
Blame
Whatever It Is, It's All Your Faultp. 153
Assigning Blamep. 153
Your Partner's Rotten Behavior Is All Your Faultp. 160
Everything that Goes Wrong in Your Partner's Life Is Somebody Else's Fault (Usually Yours)p. 163
Your Distress and Your Pain over How Your Partner Treats You Are Your Faultp. 168
How to Refuse Blame that Doesn't Belong to Youp. 171
Your Partner's Rotten Behavior Is All Your Faultp. 171
Everything that Goes Wrong in Your Partner's Life Is Somebody Else's Fault (Usually Yours)p. 174
Your Distress and Your Pain over How Your Partner Treats You Are Your Faultp. 177
Verbal Abuse
Words that Hurtp. 183
Dumb and Stupidp. 183
Bedroom Attacksp. 185
Cutting You Downp. 188
Pleasure Destroyedp. 190
Pointing Out How You Are Stupid, Inept, and Dumbp. 192
Putting You Down Where It Hurts Mostp. 195
Beating You Down when You're Upp. 197
How to Stand Up to Words that Hurtp. 201
You Are Told You Are Stupid, Inept, and Dumbp. 201
Putting You Down Where It Hurts Mostp. 207
Beating You Down when You're Upp. 210
Insensitivity
Lack of Caring for the Well-Being of Othersp. 217
Life's a Bitch and Then You Diep. 217
Karen and Her Dogsp. 219
A Bird Named Frankp. 221
Anne's Black Thumbp. 224
Empathyp. 225
Callous Attitude toward the Suffering of Othersp. 226
Indifference to and Willful Neglect of the Well-Being of Children, Animals, and Plantsp. 227
Disregard or Destruction of the Property of Othersp. 229
How to Recognize an Uncaring Attitude as a Percursor to Violencep. 231
A Callous Attitude toward the Suffering of Othersp. 231
Indifference to and Willful Neglect of the Well-Being of Children, Animals, and Plantsp. 233
Disregard or Destruction of the Property of Othersp. 234
Past and Present Violence
The Alarm Goes Unheededp. 237
Pushed into a Wallp. 237
A Kicker and a Throwerp. 240
The Violence of Jealousyp. 242
Sibling Rivalryp. 244
Love's Safety Shatteredp. 246
Inventing "Reasons" that Make the Violence Acceptablep. 247
You Say "It's Really Not that Bad"p. 254
Once Again, It's All Your Faultp. 256
How to See the Violence for What It is and Resist the Temptation to Excuse It Awayp. 259
You Invent Reasons to Make the Violence Acceptable to Youp. 259
Past Violencep. 259
You Decide "It's Really Not that Bad"p. 263
Once Again, It's All Your Faultp. 264
Mary, Bob, Peter, and Teri Revisited
New Beginningsp. 269
Mary's Sessionp. 269
Bob's Letterp. 273
Peter's Visitp. 276
Teri Sends an E-mailp. 280
Conclusionp. 283
Recommended Readingsp. 285
Resourcesp. 287
Personalized Safety Planp. 289
Indexp. 299
Table of Contents provided by Syndetics. All Rights Reserved.

ISBN: 9780738204659
ISBN-10: 073820465X
Series: How to Identify and Respond to the Seven Warning Signs of a
Audience: General
Format: Paperback
Language: English
Number Of Pages: 332
Published: 10th May 2001
Publisher: INGRAM PUBLISHER SERVICES US
Country of Publication: GB
Dimensions (cm): 20.96 x 13.97  x 1.91
Weight (kg): 0.4
Edition Number: 1