author of When My Husband Does The Dishes…
Five Facetious Questions
1. Every writer spends at least one afternoon going from bookshop to bookshop making sure his or her latest book is facing out and neatly arranged. How far have you gone to draw attention to your own books in a shop?
Don’t be ridiculous. I would NEVER do something so tacky. Of course, I did *cough* offer a prize on my blog to the person who placed my book in the most prominent position and provide photographic evidence, but that doesn’t count at all as it’s not me….
I would go up to all the celebrities and try to talk to them and become utterly stupid with awe and start stuttering and babbling as I am wont to do around famous people. Then I would retire quietly to a corner and drink my embarrassment away.
3. Some write because they feel compelled to, some are Artists and do it for the Muse, some do it for the cash (one buck twenty a book) and some do it because they think it makes them more attractive to the opposite sex – why do you do write? (NB: don’t say -‘cause I can’t sing, tap or paint!)
I write because I’m supremely lazy. I don’t have to do research, I don’t have to be nice to people, I don’t have to leave the house… hell, I don’t have to get dressed if I don’t want to! I can’t believe I’ve actually made a career out of it. I’m a very lucky girl.
4. Have you ever come to the end of writing a particularly fine paragraph, paused momentarily, chuffed with your own genius, only to find you’ve been sitting at the computer nude or with your dress half-way over your head or shaving cream on your face or toilet paper sticking out the back of your undies or paused to find that you’re singing We are the Champions at the top of your voice, having exchanged the words ‘we are’ for ‘I am’ and dropping an ‘s’?
WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS??? Good lord. Someone hasn’t listened to the radio in a while…
On days I don’t have to take the kids anywhere I will often come straight from the shower to my computer, and come out of my writing trance two hours later shivering in my towel with a pore pack that needs to be surgically removed from my nose.
5. Rodin placed his thinker on the loo – where and/or when do you seem to get your best ideas?
In the car. Always in the car. I end up dictating ideas into my phone to transcribe later. When I play them back they are littered with things like ‘Get out of the way, you idiot!’. But I edit them out.
Kerri, thank you for playing.
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About the Contributor
While still in his twenties, John Purcell opened a second-hand bookshop in Mosman, Sydney, in which he sat for ten years reading, ranting and writing. Since then he has written, under a pseudonym, a series of very successful novels, interviewed hundreds of writers about their work, appeared at writers’ festivals, on TV (most bizarrely in comedian Luke McGregor’s documentary Luke Warm Sex) and has been featured in prominent newspapers and magazines. Now, as the Director of Books at booktopia.com.au, Australia’s largest online bookseller, he supports Australian writing in all its forms. He lives in Sydney with his wife, two children, three dogs, five cats, unnumbered gold fish and his overlarge book collection. His novel, The Girl on the Page, will be published by HarperCollins Australia in October, 2018.