THE MEN OF AUSTRALIA MUST CHANGE THEIR WAYS
In the shadow of Mother’s Day there lurks an oft overlooked day, Wife’s Day.
What is Wife’s Day?
Wife’s Day takes place before Mother’s Day proper. It begins with a man overseeing his children making their mother ‘breakfast in bed’ and is followed by the children giving her gifts he has bought them to give. These gifts, by some miracle are two distinct things at once. They are both the children’s Mother’s Day gifts and a husband’s humble offering to his beloved on Wife’s Day.
Sadly, few men realise this.
Married men of Australia, don’t you see? Wife’s Day must be taken more seriously than Mother’s Day. A mother is predisposed to forgive the faults of her son. A wife, however, never forgives or forgets.
Traditionally, men have seen Mother’s Day (Wife’s Day) as a good opportunity to buy household items: an iron, an ironing board, oven mitts, an apron, a toilet brush, a new mop, a picture in a frame which says ‘Bless this mess’, a microwave, a set of steak knives, a laundry basket, a rake, a bag of fertiliser, a frying pan, a new hose… or, when truly inspired, some men dare to cross into the forbidden zone and buy: facial hair remover cream, nana undies, a size nothing dress a slim eighteen year old girl in a hip dress shop was wearing, diet anything or anti-ageing cream…
Such disregard for the awesome power of a woman scorned cannot continue! Can men really think their wife will believe their eighteen-month-old son chose, all by himself, to give her a new clothes rack?
Behind every atrocious Mother’s Day present there is a man, usually one who has yet to recognise the existence of Wife’s Day.
Men! Men! Men of Australia, listen to me!
There is a better way!
Do not upset the two most important women in your life – make them happy – buy them books.
Books are, without a doubt, the most perfect gift for Mother’s/Wife’s Day.
Now, for those men who cannot relinquish age-old stereotypes there are gardening books, cook books, decorating books, books with cleaning tips and books on general housewifery.
For those men who accept the right of liberated women to desire books which appear to fit age-old stereotypes but which are now cleansed of those associations by the conscious and free preference of said women then we have gardening books, cook books, decorating books, books with cleaning tips and books on general housewifery.
For those men who want a gift which will appear to come from their child, then we have books for kids to give their mum.
All of your book needs this Mother’s Day (Wife’s Day) are catered for here at Booktopia.
BREAKING NEWS: The Government has just announced that women who are pregnant with their first child on May 9th are eligible for Mother’s Day presents. An official spokesperson offered this warning to fathers-to-be: how you handle this first Mother’s Day is crucial and will determine the direction relations with your wife will take: buy her a book.
For the full range of books especially selected by BOOKTOPIA for Mother’s Day CLICK HERE!
About the Contributor
While still in his twenties, John Purcell opened a second-hand bookshop in Mosman, Sydney, in which he sat for ten years reading, ranting and writing. Since then he has written, under a pseudonym, a series of very successful novels, interviewed hundreds of writers about their work, appeared at writers’ festivals, on TV (most bizarrely in comedian Luke McGregor’s documentary Luke Warm Sex) and has been featured in prominent newspapers and magazines. Now, as the Director of Books at booktopia.com.au, Australia’s largest online bookseller, he supports Australian writing in all its forms. He lives in Sydney with his wife, two children, three dogs, five cats, unnumbered gold fish and his overlarge book collection. His novel, The Girl on the Page, will be published by HarperCollins Australia in October, 2018.