Prince William, the Movie, starring Robert Pattinson

by |January 19, 2010

The idea came to me in a flash.

The script seems ready to write itself.

All the elements for a blockbuster are there – Love, Murder, Great Wealth, Power and Burning Ambition.

Prince William, the Movie! – hmmm, just a working title.  (Ms Middleton and the Prince or Born To Be King or The Prince and I...)

Two gorgeous leads – Prince William and Kate Middleton – caught between vibrant youth and stolid tradition.

Who better to play the leads than Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart?

British Royalty played by Hollywood Royalty – Twilight fans would flock to see their stars crowned.

Just think about it – both couples are being harassed by the paparazzi, both live before the eye of the camera… It is too perfect.

Besides, the roles would require little acting – they’d be shifting from one species of dead fish, Bella and Edward, to another, the English Upper Crust. (Would a dead fish by any other name smell as rank?)

Conveniently, both actors could retain the pale make-up of their Twilight characters and as it would be set in grim Britannia, the home of gloom, neither would need to learn how to smile.

Hell! We all know the rumours that the Royal Family are, in fact, Zombies.

How to begin?

It was a sunny dark and gloomy dismal morn night…. It was cold in the palace, the butler had given notice after selling his story to the Daily Mail…

Need some help here!!!

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About the Contributor

While still in his twenties, John Purcell opened a second-hand bookshop in Mosman, Sydney, in which he sat for ten years reading, ranting and writing. Since then he has written, under a pseudonym, a series of very successful novels, interviewed hundreds of writers about their work, appeared at writers’ festivals, on TV (most bizarrely in comedian Luke McGregor’s documentary Luke Warm Sex) and has been featured in prominent newspapers and magazines. ​Now, as the Director of Books at, Australia’s largest online bookseller, he supports Australian writing in all its forms. He lives in Sydney with his wife, two children, three dogs, five cats, unnumbered gold fish and his overlarge book collection. His novel, The Girl on the Page, will be published by HarperCollins Australia in October, 2018.

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