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The Hipster Handbook

Paperback

Published: 4th February 2003
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hipster - hip-stur (s) n. One who possesses tastes, social attitudes, and opinions deemed cool by the cool. (Note: it is no longer recommended that one use the term "cool"; a Hipster would instead say "deck.") The Hipster walks among the masses in daily life but is not a part of them and shuns or reduces to kitsch anything held dear by the mainstream. A Hipster ideally possesses no more than 2% body fat.

Clues You Are a Hipster

1. You graduated from a liberal arts school whose football team hasn't won a game since the Reagan administration.

2. You frequently use the term "postmodern" (or its commonly used variation"PoMo") as an adjective, noun, and verb.

3. You carry a shoulder-strap messenger bag and have at one time or another worn a pair of horn-rimmed or Elvis Costello-style glasses.

4. You have refined taste and consider yourself exceptionally cultured, but have one pop vice (ElimiDATE, Quiet Riot, and Entertainment Weekly are popular ones) that helps to define you as well-rounded.

5. You have kissed someone of the same gender and often bring this up in casual conversation.

6. You spend much of your leisure time in bars and restaurants with monosyllabic names like Plant, Bound, and Shine.

7. You bought your dishes and a checkered tablecloth at a thrift shop to be kitschy, and often throw vegetarian dinner parties.

8. You have one Republican friend whom you always describe as being your "one Republican friend."

9. You enjoy complaining about gentrification even though you are responsible for it yourself.

10. Your hair looks best unwashed and you position your head on your pillow at night in a way that will really maximize your cowlicks.

11. You own records put out by Matador, DFA, Definitive Jux, Dischord, Warp, Thrill Jockey, Smells Like Records, and Drag City.

"The Hipster Handbook... proves that behind every goatee, shaggy hairdo and baggy blouse, there's still a lot of preening." - The New York Times; "The Hipster Handbook is The Official Preppy Handbook for people who wear Atari T-shirts." - Esquire

Everything That Once Was Cool Is Now Deckp. 1
11 Clues You Are a Hipsterp. 2
11 Clues You Are Not a Hipsterp. 3
Who Says "Tubular" Anymore?p. 4
Phrases and Terms Avoided by Hipstersp. 11
Core Elements of Hipsterdomp. 12
Hipster Personality Type: The UTF (Unemployed Trust-Funder)p. 14
Styles Hipsters Avoidp. 17
What About Indie Rockers?p. 18
Hipsters and Non-Hipsters in History: Separating the Deck from the Finp. 20
Hipster Personality Type: The Clubberp. 26
Dining, Diet, and Dinner Partiesp. 29
Hipster Personality Type: The Lonerp. 32
The Cosmopolitan Cosmopolitan: Choosing a Barp. 35
The Perfect Bronsonp. 39
Finely Brewed for Greasers: Beers Hipsters Avoidp. 39
Deck Chowder: Hipster Cocktailsp. 40
Midtown Happy Hour: Cocktails Hipsters Avoidp. 41
Gotta Light? Hipster Cigarettesp. 41
Hipster Personality Type: The Schmoozep. 42
Hipster Grooming: More Than a Matter of Stylep. 46
Follicles, Pores, and Flubber: Grooming, Makeup, and Surgery for the Hipster Femalep. 49
Hipster Hairdos for Menp. 52
Hipster Hairdos for Womenp. 54
Hipster Personality Types: Maxwells, Carpets, and CK-1sp. 56
Tattoos: They've Gone Suburbanp. 61
Pierce Wiselyp. 64
Metal as Fuckp. 65
Hipster Personality Type: The WASH (Waitstaff and Service Hipster)p. 66
Waddup Bitch?! Hipsters and Their Greetingsp. 69
www.thehipsterhandbook.com and Other Deck Sitesp. 77
Hipster Magazinesp. 78
Hipster Personality Type: The Neo-Crunchp. 79
A Day in the Life (Slacker Style)p. 83
Hipster Personality Type: The Teeterp. 90
Indigenous Zones of the Hipster in the United States and Canadap. 93
The Ivy Leagues for Hipstersp. 93
Hipster Personality Type: The Politp. 99
Working for the Manp. 102
The Job Interviewp. 110
Hipster Personality Type: The Bipsterp. 112
Hipster Music: I Want My MTV Disconnectedp. 116
Hipster Literature: If You Haven't Read These Works, at Least Pretend You Havep. 126
Hipster Cinema: Rolling Out the Red Carpet, or The Oscars Suck Assp. 132
Matters of the Heart: Dating a Hipsterp. 137
Some Common (and Uncommon) Pairings in Datingp. 140
Dating a Non-Hipsterp. 148
The Aging Hipsterp. 151
The Questionnaire: Are You a Hipster?p. 160
Behind the Scenes: It Takes a Villagep. 167
Table of Contents provided by Syndetics. All Rights Reserved.

ISBN: 9781400032013
ISBN-10: 1400032016
Audience: General
Format: Paperback
Language: English
Number Of Pages: 170
Published: 4th February 2003
Dimensions (cm): 19.8 x 12.9  x 1.3
Weight (kg): 0.186